I can't grasp your moving picture
When you were the director
Of my life's lovely scripture
You were the connector
To a screen that dug deep
Your image makes me weep
Your image scares me to sleep
So I may dream of you
And a world for two
When in reality
You are one
And I am none
So I tell triumphant stories to myself
Like the past glories of someone else
I direct movies in my mind
My brain always on rewind
To a time I crossed a line
Painful memories to remind
I don't know what I'm doing
When your picture keeps moving

In my mind film keeps burning
In your mind film keeps turning
Life is tough without you
But that's because life is tough
And now you're just another part
Me another broken heart
I was dealt my cards
They got me this far
Then shattered to shards
Like the film of you
That hit the cutting room floor
The moment you walked out the door

I developed strife
From the memories I edited
In your life
Will I be credited?

Blood wounds.
Smell of euphoria outside.
Today is Saturday.
I'm here bitting my tongue
And I'm going to listen to the talk of my fake friends.

Why they are you so afraid of getting old?

I will then go downstairs in that room where there are people with hot skins.
And I'm going to dance alone.

These pretty girls are so boring.
Everyone wants to die as heroes.
But people will continue to talk with their white teeth like snow.
I will continue to dance alone.

I'll be my best friend.
I will forget that people were born to die.
But people will continue to talk.


I feel so alone.
At the same time the smell of this feeling was so good.

I'm going to take sleeping pills.
I will continue to bite my tongue.

I never wanted to go back here.
I like to live in romance with my dreams.

I'm lying on the floor listening to their noise from above.

Here seems that no one is good enough.
It's funny and scary but I've never felt so alone.

But I'm going to keep dancing and let people talk.
In the house of a million dreams without fears.

Suddenly everything seemed so beautiful.
So I went downstairs to take pictures of everyone's dreams.
To remember that I'm going to continue a girl without life.

And I have died
softly
a million deaths -
drowning,
bleeding,
choking.
And yes, I remembered you.
I have found you
in the pictures,
in the screams
of broken tables
in the ghosts
and in the glass ceilings...
You were with me
every time
I died.

i see in pictures
no really, real pictures.
i still remember what the piazza looks like in my family's home town
its been 7 years.
i remember the old church next to it where they got married
i remember the stained glass windows along the walls
i remember the coffee shop across from the street that served espressos in tiny ornamental cups
i see it all.

7 years on and now i see you
i see you in that first red dress.
that first night with locks of hair that made me melt into the floor.
i see you in a dark cinema where i took the best risk of my life
where everything changed and now months later i see you
in a dress walking down the staircase
like an angel walking down from heaven.
i see you in my bed surrounded by the darkness of the night
your breath on me heavy with mine.
lost without a care.
i see you. by my side.
and i cant help but think how lucky i am.

as i write i view each moment like a photograph in my mind, some are fuzzy and unfocused but some are as clear as sunshine.
bright like the sunshine you are to me.

but i know, things are hard.
someone is going around stealing photos.
stealing images.
but we're going to take them back.

because i havent only seen and see now.
i can see what the future holds.
i can see the dew on the winter window and our faces pierced with sunlight.
i can see the nervousness of our first days into a new uni or work
and see the moment we reconvene at the end of the day to tell each other all about it
on the grassed steps of a sunken garden staircase holding hands
to birds chirping. sun shining or clouds pouring.
i can see us holding cups of tea watching ****** netflix shows
talking about anything everything
ill tell you the secrets of the universe as ill discover them
and later in the night,
we'll discover the secrets of our own hearts and souls.
between sheets. where we fall asleep to the sound of our own heartbeats
steady
steady.

i can see all of it.
clear as day even on a rainy night that this time may be to us.
to you.
you.
you did this to me.
you changed everything.
i can see all of it.
the future we could have with some time and hard work
with some love.
without letting anyone stand in our way.
because baby I'm ready to fall in love with you again and again
every single day because
i can see the future sometimes.
because i see in pictures.
no really, real pictures.
real pictures with real people like me
and you.
and us.