Discipline is not taught in a day
I've been on a vibe. Happiness is everything.
Halted and tainted.
Derived from isolation.
Shameful resent, and painful lament, birth exploration of the intimate.
Desperate to drown out the desolate.
Ethereal vitality, lonely and vestal.
Accept all without stall.
Vulnerable and platonic.
In need of deep loving clasp.
An invite to settle my weariness upon thy shoulder.
Someone to open my neck toward without smolder.
The moon reflects upon me.
Truth is intimacy.
If overpassed, you’re in infancy.
Simple and faded, adorable, but deplorable.
Let’s inundate our emptiness together.
i still talk about you like im coming home to you
i still act like ill see you later
i still mention your name in all my conversations
i still think about you in everything i do
i still wish you were my boyfriend
The hardest thing to reconcile
Is that you genuinely believed you love me,
And I truly loved you.
Now, I confuse gentle touch for hostile
Because you were wonderfully gentle
Until you weren't,
Before returning to gentle again.
The hardest part to reconcile is how you could be "so in love,"
Yet in that moment,
You were only concerned for your pleasure.
With a love like that,
I would never need enemies.
They taught us to scream "fire!"
"Help!" Would elicit no response.
They told us to wedge keys in our fingers,
To never walk alone in the night.
They told us to watch out for strangers,
To avoid masked men in dark alleys.
No one ever told me to beware of the man in my own bed,
To shudder when he told me he loved me.
No one told me that I would freeze,
Limbs powerless to fight him off.
They did not tell me I would know him, trust him, love him
Until the moment I couldn't anymore.
You can keep your **** whistles,
Your fists with car keys and staining sprays.
You can keep your roofie nail polish and SOS phone apps.
None of it would have done me any good
As I lay there, clinging to bed sheets and teddy bear.
you make me wanna dance
spin me into a never-ending evanescent grace
your soul hanging in the balance with mine
your fingers trace the script of my body
written in ink, stained black and blue
bruised into my soul by hands so cruel
so many poems of insecurity
are bled into the deepest parts of me
blurring the lines of reality facing sanity
you make me want to dance
you clean the slate that's tainted by my past
your gaze, only ever loving
as your lips part to whisper
the beauty that your love provides
days that once were haunted
by the harsh actions of undeserving men
seem like a distant nightmare
your constant reassurance, your unwavering understanding
you find the lost parts of me
lead me through the dark to where i'm meant to be
i see a future for us
provided by our love
i can't ever thank you enough
i'm so in love with such an amazing god-send of a man
Of ****** love poems
For ****** guys
Who didn't mean ****
I have someone
Lucky to love me
And I'm choking
On my words
Stumbling over stanzas
Pushing out puns
I don't know
How to react
To something so good
To beg for love
When you're starving
You try to find it
In the darkest ******* places
That I'm not hungry
Now that I'm being fed love
Served on a silver spoon
I keep waiting
For the knife
To come back out
When I least expect it
You sip on self pity
Now that wine has been vanquished from the house.
Bitter insults leaving your tongue
Like the smell of alcohol on your breath
As you pinned me to the mattress all those nights ago.
You accuse me of being like the rest,
Always leaving you in your worst moments.
Never had I questioned why they left.
You tell me to run,
For you only abuse those you love.
I had thought that your overcritical mind was exaggerating.
I wish I had seen those for what they were,
Not some misplaced self hatred.
It is proof of my love that you seek,
The thrill of me chasing you as you degrade and run away
That fuels your affection for me.
You ask me to tell you I love you.
You ask me to assure you I will never leave.
You want me to beg you to stay.
I once loved you.
I am leaving you.
There will be no need when I am done.
i want to peel off
all my skin
out of punishment
for knowing it was once
touched by you.
bit by bit its memories
out of jealousy
that you’re gone
and it remains.
i will then
hastily tape it back
piece by piece
the only remaining artifice
of your earthly exploration.
it will be ugly-
it is ugly.
without your touch-
it is useless.