Maybe she was looking for somebody to warm
her up all the time and God, when it got
too dark outdoors you cried kerosene and set
fire to yourself just to provide her safety and security.
And maybe it's true that everything
comes in a paradoxical form and that's
why even though you were born from
a warm womb, your soul was so icy cold
she burnt her fingertips just touching it
and probably mistook it for the heat she
had always been longing for. I know that it's ironic,
I know that your dreams lay somewhere
beside her perfect body and shiny hair
but your reality is four suicide
attempts and cutting your wrists open
over some permanent tattoo where
her love was supposed to be skinned.


-- Eleanor

I'm only trying to love myself to make up for me hating me.
I hate the way I hate myself but i just cant escape from me.
Tell myself I'll get it right and I just gotta wait for me,
but me is getting tired, meanwhile I'm just waiting patiently.

Trying to give myself a vision, I'm just trying to make me see,
That happiness is bread and life could really be a bakery.
Got a sweet tooth and negativity is cake to me.
Everybody watching, they just copying and pasting me.

Take the key, I'm trying to lock my thoughts inside a safe with me.
Looking in a mirror just to let myself debate with me.
I just wanna love my life, living, learning gracefully
But how can I uplift myself when all my thoughts are weight to me?

Racing through infinity I'm standing with the Trinity.
Me, Myself, and I, that's a triangle full of enemies.
Me, Myself, and I, in me so tell me where would you hide?
You wanna hear some painful irony? I have to choose sides.

Because I stay fighting myself and hurting me like am I serious?
There ain't enough room in this one body for the three of us.
No we cannot comfort us. Yes it makes us furious.
Screaming to ourselves like, "is anybody hearing us?"

Self inflicted pain. On this shelf I sit in vain.
Telling me about myself cause no one else would think its sane.

I'm not a hypocrite,
I'm just paradoxical