your cigarette smoke
floats into my lungs
and out chokes
everything i meant to tell you
hours ago
when things could get better

but now your cigarette smoke
took a year off of my life
and a chunk of my heart
as i suffocate
under your presence

you set again the boundary i thought was gone already

Why do I feel this way?
Its all bottled up and its not okay

There's too much too say
Just please don't walk away.

I know its not right
This has given me so much fright

To love you like I do
Because you can never say I love you too

"I am trying to move on."
"Do you really want to?"
"You gave me no choice."

"You never asked me to stay."
"I told you not to leave."
"So you left me hanging."

It's simplistically the most painful baring ever,
the world is rotating slowly alongside that time, we grow.
I sit here not amused with myself, in every form of way,
I honestly want to be grateful for everything,
but it is never enough for me.

I look at the clock going off in my mind,
ticking every single second away.
I stare at the walls which slowly decorate themselves,
but realistically always look the same.
I feel myself slowly urging to advance yet never seem to do so.
I see myself crying inside,
I want to let out yells and I don't know why.

A woman can paint her life away, staring at the same objects happily,
yet I am here sitting here writing the same **** things over and over until they satisfy me.

Why do I stress out on being so perfect to the eyes of others?

I think and I thought
I weep in my dear thoughts
What have I done
What could have been
I lay in regrets on a single mistake

It was a day like any other
Coffee in the morning
Feeling the warmth of the sun, in my face

I was in battle for days
A battle of currencies
A battle of endurance
A battle in which, I am getting drained
My mind is tired
My body is weaken
My thoughts are in disarray

With a click of a mouse
I have lost it all
With that click of a mouse
I have fallen down
With that click of a mouse
I felt a slash in my heart
That hurts like nothing I ever knew
With that click of a mouse...
I have became nothing but a rotting log

As they say,
When it rain, it pours
Today, hard as I tried to stand again
I never could
The clouds thunder
The lighting strikes
I have became nothing but a rotting log, soaked in mud

The skies are grey
The end is not in sight
The pain is beyond my threshold
The pain is killing me slowly
I feel suffocated
Suffocated with failures
Months of success, undone by a single click

I can only hope, I can get up again
I can only hope, the sun rises
I can only hope, I can only hope

Silence softly speaks
To those that listen
Stillness in the air
Whispers in the wind

Silence speaks loudly
Deafening sound
Can’t make out the words
Only screaming within

Silence speaks pain
Hurt and emptiness
Unspoken sorrow
Quietly, weeping loss

Silence speaks love
Taken in one’s arms
Calm embrace, wordless
Together in blissful peace

"It was over before it even started"
"Because you said so"
"That's what you showed me"

"Done looking out for you"
"Did you ever?"
"You never noticed. All the more I should stop"