It’s funny
I used to read and write
Laugh and type
But now I can’t
I’m falling
And as the frustration grows
Mountainous procrastination as I try to remember
My mind can’t stop writhing

My body moving
Head saying yes
Sentences halved and mashed and forgot
Frantic boredom
As I fill filled space
The wave of papers
Books and words
That I’ve neglected
Hit me greater than before
The yells, tears, bad grades, hurt
Take me all at once
Under water, out again
Some day I’ll drown

A picture paints a thousand words.
Why won’t you stop shouting?
I’m already close.
My stimulus can’t take it.

I can feel it coming back
The hollow cavity, once again
Has claimed residence in my chest
I can feel it suppressing each breath
It weighs me down, I am carrying lead
It poisons my blood stream
I try to scream
Nothing escapes because my lungs are filling
I can’t breathe
The viscous liquid is killing
The world has drowned
Or possibly
It was me

Like quicksand, the more I struggle
The more the sand buries me
Inch by inch
Gasping for breath the small sediments
sting my throat
there’s no way out
only down
only the ground
that fills my lungs
I can’t breathe
No more sound
The world has drowned
Or maybe
It was me

The grains of sand fly through the sky
The wind picks up
More and more sand flies
It whips my hair, it stings my eyes
The wind gains strength
Calamitous glory
The grains meld together
They move together
They pulsate and writhe
Seemingly devoid of time
They fall and rise
A sea of sand dunes takes the skies
I can’t breathe
There is no more air
The world has drowned
Or conceivably
It was me

It sounds different from the ocean
I can hear the movements of each grain
I can hear their commotion
The tide pulls my legs
The wind rips my hair
The waves crash down on my body
Thousands of tiny scratches cover me
Head to toe
My skin is sanded thin as paper
The current is swirling
The sound of sand rushes
Like the indistinct murmur of hushes
The wave rises
The wave rises
If a wave rises it must fall
The wave falls
I cant breathe
I am crumpled, a paper ball
The world has drowned
Or likely
It was me


The thinnest parts of me rip
I spill out into the sea of grains
Undefinable, my pain
Indescribable
I can no longer tell where I begin
And where the ocean ends
I can now see the way the sky bends
The water becomes salty from my tears
Or maybe the salty water is my tears
My fading gaze flickers to the horizon
It is just a straight line
The world has drowned
And certainly
It was me
but inconceivably
Its all just a straight line

I've hit a wall lately
A wall so tall it seems impassable.
I wake up daily to it encompassing my bed.
Making waking up a test of endurance.
Once I'm passed that, there's just another wall.
Around social interactions, work, moving, and to be honest.
It's all just ******* walls.
Walls I thought I broke down, that are now 10x as big.
Did I mention my fear of heights?
I take pills that are supposed to help,
and they do, but these halflives are nothing compared to these walls.
They're made not of cement but of sentiment and wicked dreams.
Thoughts of all the horrible options that could be.
Thoughts of a depressed self and a depressed spouse.
"You think the kid can tell?" That I'm loosing my grip?
That I'm terrified of the monsters under the bed?
I'm immobilized by my own mind like a car tire boot on my will to try.
Wish someone would tow me off to oblivion.
Or at least a place I could relax.
I'd modestly ask for just a few moments escape.
From all these walls

enchanted
just like mantras

these words
swam into my mind
slithered through like a basilisk
what a spellbound

did I listen?
did I hear?
did I absorb?

gotta heart
this art of losing hope
giving up

getting on
stronger or
weaker
than yesterday

tread my walk
I abandoned this thought
not looking back

for all I know
I'll never be done for
maybe

I am an endless void
People poor their overflowing problems into me... I'm full.
Please find another parcel to contain them,
Overwhelming and suffocating feelings that are not my own, but emotions of others pain.
One more word to spill and I surely will collapse.

She...

revelrous without
the alibi
of Christmas

many join in
swiftly slicing shadows
from looming skyscrapers

few see beneath
the ****** of mirth
children sob within

partners in crime
with adult eyes
destined to stare

at arid landscapes
removed from life's
scorpion bite

As my heart grew more enamored,
And as I felt this burning flame,
It was then I knew what mattered—
It was to give Beauty its name.

Her image would not go away,
But all the words I spoke would err,
So overcome I could not say
A description that suited her.

What should perfect Beauty be called?
There is no name that could suffice.
Overwhelmed I was too enthralled—
My language was too imprecise.

You simply are so beautiful,
That any name would be inapt.
Your Beauty makes my heart so full—
That I am speechlessly enrapt.