This probably isn't what they are called,
And I can't think of the elusive word,
But...I really like bike bells.

You know the ones!
The little diddlydoos on the handlebars of a ten-year-old's bike.
The ones that go
bbbBBBB
      RRRRRrrrrr
           iiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIII
                  NNNNnnnnnn
                 ­      ggggggGGGGGG!

God, they're my favorite.

Because, you see...here's the thing:

When you were a ten-year-old,
Riding a bike to some friend's house your mom didn't approve of,
Did you ever bbBBrrIInnGG the bike bell on your bike when you were upset?

Of course not!

Bike bells are a child's way of telling the world,

"Guys! GUYS! I had a really good day!"

And it makes me happy to know some little kid is so joyful they can't help but bbBBrrRRiiIInnNNggGG all the way down the street.

“why are you so quiet”

i’m not sure how i’m supposed to answer that
do you want the truth
the truth is that i know
everyone in this room would choose
everyone else over me
i am just background noise here
if i did speak up my voice would be
drowned out by the obnoxious
music i don’t listen to and people
talking about things i don’t understand
no one here knows me
no one here even cares about knowing me

i think i’m going home

A quiet lonely abode
I hum to myself again
I still don't know
Who the hell I am
But I have thoughts
And there's people
They don't recall
Neither do I

But that's all good
Because this world
It's so fair, so, so
It just wants money
Oh no, not me
I'm nothing to it
I just put work in
Not anymore
The lines lengthen
But I'm just a dot
The worlds are lines

Please cease it
Stop talking so much
I can't hear me
Or him or us or you
What even is this
You don't even exist
I'm paying next
Don't worry, baby
Never worry again
I'll never be here
Not for you, no, no

So long, so long
Since I had a skull
It was shattered
Now I'm nobody
My skull was me
But not anymore
They and I took it
So I just work
I'm the money
I'm the work
I'm the people
I'm the no
I'm not the yes
They're the yes
But they don't...
They don't exist
So I just work
Leave me be
Quiet down
Leave me
Let me work
Let me
Work
Work
Work
Work
Work
...

The mantra of Hiroshima incarnate
The map of every star in a torn fishnet
Loss of life among other consequences
Images of words as the devil slowly dances
The apple of Eden's been bitten before
Only now does it have some of Pandora in store
A weakened mind in a deific shell
The new tree of life unleashes true hell

Broken, torn, shattered eternal face
The petite, pure angel has fallen from grace
Inconsistency in post-modern apocalypse
Collapsing under the hound's charred up lips
Burning new wings in a sea of the womb
Blossoming inadequacy, eternal tomb
Callous, joyless orange ocean abound
The true retaliation, a hurricane of sound

Lazy eyes and a dysfunctional throat
Untrue might, a choiceless faux-goat
Green, emerald, grass, truly loveless
Alight the need to never again fess
Drowned a nobody, a weakened coward
Behind a true god's skirt he always cowered
No more colors, a blackened white sand
A recall of choices this boy doth demand

I thought I was finished
But I told you myself, an end is a beginning
So here we are again.

I'm not the same person you've been reading.

Since then I've died and was born again.

It's always a difficult process, you know...
Living, dying and living again
It's like leaving yourself to die
It's like ending your life only to come back.

Never is it a good sign when you're sorry for yourself dying.

I heard my last heartbeats and my first as well.

So I'm here again.

The same body, the same voice, the same face and words...
Well, hello again, friend
I'll be your noise for the evening.