Nails that rake
far across closed backs,
mind's all but grinding teeth,
granting rings of thyme, and smoked thin
it shrieks amongst feathered
patience.
Jaundice all sentiment,
and rack my nerves
a blaring sparking
mess
for I brand my black grin
like a whiskey bottle brown
found, but in gutter glinting
fevers-- down swims my nerves.

There is a strange
Tingly sensation
In my stomach
When you are near
And when you speak to me
Or touch me
A sensation often described as butterflies
But they are not pure enough
To be butterflies
Because I know you don't feel them as I do
So they are moths
Moths
Because they are crowding your light
Moths in my stomach
Flying up
And up
And up
Through my windpipe
Choking me
And trying to reach you
And your blinding
Fluorescent light

The jitters building up
A psychological blowup
Welting in the pit of our stomach
As we are wishing for luck
Mentally preparing
For what’s coming
Keep on hoping
To be the best as we are nearing
Close to the very biggest
Most important step to us
Breathing for tranquility- in and out
Losing ourselves, just about
Deep breaths
Sad attempts
Calm the nerves
Mind moving through curves
Scattered pieces
Mentality ceases

Minutes turn to seconds
Limits go beyond-
The bar
Reaching the stars

I spoke
They all heard me
I choked
I'm at the bottom of the sea

Everyone's watching
Need to finish my piece
I'm drowning
My thoughts freeze

Tried to swim
Time is up
Suddenly it dimmed
I gave up

so i locked the door and let you fully entrap me,
and threw out the key,
because it's too easy....

but truly,...
day by day,
please, why should you tell only lie?
to me...
such my lonely cry...

but now i know,...
i have to just wake up and go!
get out there!
close my heart and live free
that's the only way you'd let me flee...

A confusion or ambivalence of sorts has settled upon me
Could be me just whining but oh well...
For once Ive always wanted an encounter with simplicity
Surely it would give me a break from all this complexity that I call life
With anything or anyone whos a part of the latter
My loved ones or lovers
My job or my upcoming studies
A breath that I dont allow myself to take because apparently I like self destructing
Nerves fill me everywhere
Take me to a day where I can adhere my true way of being
Though Im only just starting...

You make me so giddy inside
nervous like
a warm runny egg.
You are so respectful
of boundaries
which has left me
wanting so much more.
You are a conundrum
always looking, looking, looking
at me causing blood to
flush my round cheeks.
I want to bone your firm ***
and make you ***
till kingdom come.
Cream your pants
and come undone.
You make me so churlish
all writhing inside with
a heavy licentious
attitude equating to
the silent space
between us where
nothing is said
and our eyes meet
but words seem to
stick in my
tarnished throat
choking up
on all those internal
sultry soliloquies
trapped tight
in my esophagus
wanting desperately
to venture forth
through tantalizing
whispers of the heart.
And somehow
I break through
that anxiety
and pour my soul
into your open arms
and you release me
making my fears dribble
out all over my pants and
all over my cheeks
in tears of joy.
You make me anxious
when I'm **** naked
and antsy like string beans
peeling their skins off
to reveal tiny round
little green seeds
not unlike peas.
You make my plant stems
and flowers engorge.
You make the sunlight
within me adored.
You are so kind and careful
by the way you carry
yourself full of warmth
and confidence and balance
and I feel an inability to express these physical desires seeming
endless in their tidings.
I always seem to keep my
****** secrets to myself
because they are bottomless
and embarrassing beyond belief.
But your words seem to
release me and so finally
I can speak.
You are so open and sensual
by the way you observe me
and I find myself burning
alive inside
my guts all squirming
in loose knots  
trying to unravel
these trivial thoughts.
Still wanting to leap
the distance and smother
you with wet kisses
my body is burdened
by natural urges.
These animal instincts
that venture on purges.
You make me so lascivious
by nothing of your
own accord
by the way you look and gaze
deeply into my eyes
for moments at a time
never ending
this joy is never ending
but secretly
I wish I could open you up
enough to hear your
******* screaming.
I wish I could satisfy
your insatiable need
and be able to pleasure you
instead of you pleasuring me.
This relief is somehow firm
and I've done a lot of freeing.
I ache to see your face
aroused and flushed
by something I'm not seeing.