I look at today just as another day
I don't know the other half of me
The thoughts and lies what could of been
The years past by with not knowing
And I ask myself why
Being in world  wonder  what could of happened
I can t go back in time change  or see the path
I just wish i knew my other half of me
A man lost  my name is lie but my heart still goes on.

I remember as a child being overly excited for my birthday
every year I wouldn't be able to sleep just counting down the hours
When I did eventually fall asleep
I was quick to rise the next day
My mom who worked over nights
Would call me in the morning to send me blessings and good fortune
She was always the first person to say "happy birthday"
I've always loved my birthday
Because it was the one day I truly felt special
Felt wanted...
Now it's my birthday and I can't sleep
But not from excitement
But from reoccurring insomnia
My mom called at 12:02am
But she wasn't the first this year
a boy named "A"
Sent me a picture of his *****
And said it was my "gift"
(Isn't that sweet)
The Moment she said "happy birthday" I bust into tears
I'm glad she didn't hear me cause
I wouldn't know how to explain to her
How broken I feel
How I've thought of
death a million times
in the last hour..
This year I don't feel so special
I don't feel wanted
I feel drained
Fed up
tired
When the sun rises
I plan on buying enough drugs to numb my pain
Listen to the same song on reply
And hope that the day fades quickly
Happy Birthday to me.

B.oF

You know I'm no good
for your heart mind or soul
so I guess that's why you're not bothered with me
you saw ahead and didn't even let me know.

You know I'm no good
I can't bring anything to the table
you saw that I'm a horrible waiter
and ran like a stallion from a stable

You know I'm no good,
you saw through my glass chest
and through to my broken spirit
and destroyed me for the best

Mama couldn't save me, daddy did so he couldn't raise me
I'm still tripping off them hoes that played me
Same ******* fronting on me when I had my baby
It's crazy, and ****** say they made me
Taking credit from my mama, **** amaze me
How ****** talking down when I'm not around
But every time I'm in the building, schhh, not a sound
I line my haters up and clap them down
That choppa have ***** dancing like he Bobby Brown
I'm well-respected in my city, even out of town
And don't ever tuck my chain
*****, how that sound? How that look?
We don't live by the book, we just live by the code
A lot of ****** got exposed when feds came through
They was dropping names too
****** say I changed up but I'm with the same crew
I was always told to get the money and remain you
Never let these ***** ****** tell you what you can't do
Every time they said that I left, that was when I came through
Range new, .38 special when the flame blew
Just in case I gotta flame you
What a feeling when them people tryna frame you
Lock you in a cell when detain you
Rather die before I go out working like I'm Django
I'm gone...

I turn, into the rain
Behind me is my pain
The drops seem to wash away all of my hate.

I now know I was right
About the way you lie
You turn your back on me
I pretend it's all just fine

But they deep ness in my chest
Doesn't let my nightmare rest
They fill my brain with sadness
I can't describe this madness
My whole life has been one joke and I
Can't seem to look around this

But my time will come soon
And you'll wallow in self pity
Because I'm the one who cared
Yes I did all your bidding

But now I must go
I know it will be hard
I just need some time alone
To find out how people are
But don't worry my heart will stay at home

Don't worry about me now
I'm as free as I can get
One day I'll come back around
To tell you about my trip

I hope I'll gain in happiness
And lose a little shame
But remember that I loved every second of the pain.

-BB

My life has turned into
Late night showers
Midnight tears
Early morning sorrows
Miday fears
This vicious cycle eats at my soul
With pain and stories untold
Everyday it starts again
All I need is my missing friend

Stained.
Like the blood on my hands have dried to a crust.
My heart had thawed but now has freezer burn.
The strands of blonde that were bleached last year.
The words that I won't forget.
Stained.
Like the white dress that has now turned yellow.
The dried candle wax that won't come off the carpet.
Don't love me, or I will become hard.
Don't leave me
Or I will become,
Stained.