can't breathe
want to leave
have to quit
can't do it
just a broken thing
a phone that doesn't ring
i'm worn out
want to cry and shout
someone end it please
i have an interior disease
pull the trigger
can't do it my self
go figure.

In a cold  night ,
Sitting by the fire ,
Thinking about the future ,
And regretting the past ,
I am living my present ,
And hoping for a good night.

Does the dream of heaven
Seem foreshadowed by my sin
When I've fixated my life to being religious I've failed because I didn't listen His psalms and songs and the cry of David and his disciples
Was the ring tone to my ordeals and sorrows But it's time I acknowledged the fact that my experiences with God Were imagined and Now I search beyond the boundaries of depression to break every chain of oppression And every lie this tongue has spoken I release now to the heavens So that every burden that I carry Doesn't keep me from getting to the gates of heaven And I pray he saves me from every decision that brought weakness to this spirit Because when the devil confidently came in I was tired of reading my bible but God heard me faintly and brought me back here to testify that his word is alive Even though his son died once upon a time, He lived an honest life And that's what I want in my life To live and die and rise again
To see his face and just praise his name. Everyday

~Lemme' just say my blood pressure is up which is good in my case! :) I'm gaining more and more valuable friends, but I do not like being called popular. That makes me sound like a brat x)
I found the perfect one. He shares my religion and loves the same stuff I love. He's an inspirational artist and the best lover I have ever met. I am changed forever because of him. I am so glad he chose me!
My best friend is about to get her first boyfriend, but we call them mates. I am so excited for her! She's about to know the wonderful ride I'm going on over and over again. Thunderclaw + Spotty= <3
Life is so perfect to me RN! I'm doing fabulous!

Wish i could be doing fine
but its hard when you got so much stuff on your mind
it's bad enough daily i see the pain in my mama
plus the other stuff that effects only brings more drama

there's been so many nights i'd sit here and wanna die
despite of all the tears that fell out of my eye
daily i gotta hear more insults these people have said
and people wonder why there so many bad thoughts in my head

it seems like when people can't find nobody to judge
they look for me
it doesn't matter what i say or do
cause the people who do it are in my family to

on top of that i'm still stuck on a girl i'm in love with
though she doesn't me back
i'm so busy being stuck on her i **** there lost control of myself
and it isn't right
but what would you do if you slept an every lonely night

i must admit words from others have brought my confidence low
it ain't rising no time soon
Like snails and turtles i feel i'm moving to slow
because my heart has craters like the ones in moons

I use to wish i was that guy that girls would chase
But when girls see me i'm a guy they erase
But when i look at my friends brothers and cousins
them girls be on them in dozens

so now when i see a girls comes my way
those old days
will interview now i don't know what to say
because i feel she gone do what them other girls did
and it's not okay

one day i'll rise over all these people who have ran over me
for being nice
for every girl who took advantage of me for treating them right
and when when that day finally comes i'll have a brighter and better mind
and that's when i finally be doing just fine

To you, my life is,
Or it is not, you aren't sure;
You really don't know.
So what am I really like?
And honestly, do you care?