Would you expand
                          a tear
                  for one never known?

But shed a moment
                 for one that
               never needed one??

wrapped in the web of myself and another, like
wet clothes in the water I'm trying so hard to tread with.
the cat purring on my linted toes reminds me
I'm trying so hard to make Now a Home.

You dangled from my laytex glove
Prey above dogs
Held sturdy by the chest
Gentle

Playful beasts they were, barking.
TOY! MEAL!
FOOD!
They couldn't see how terrified you were of their instinct to howl.
I foot them inside the rickety screen door.

I agreed to toss you in the woods.
expected a cleaning job.
Extracting a cold still object from her sisters cage.

You looked at me.
I wanted to look you in the eyes
before I did it.
And You looked at me.
Stretched out your legs

We laid down together
Sun cooked the wooden porch beneath our bodies
desperate to learn everything like fresh fall season lovers.

You moved when I touched you.
Like my attention gave you an extra moment

You didn't seem to breath

I offered a carrot.
Meek. You used what life was left in you to open your mouth.
You hadn't the strength to chew.

I was too optimistic.
I know now.
When I broke the tiniest peice of carrot free
placed it in your mouth.
You hadn't the strength to swallow

But you were breathing heavy now

I felt like god.
A human god.
Selfish even now in the giving of life
How happy your mother will be
How powerful I will look
Deciding which creatures live.
And die.

I shoved the bit of carrot
with a medical pinky finger.
You took three large gasps for air

I Dropped my godly optimism in a grey plastic bag on the desperate table of three worried pet doctors.
Embarrassed for me, they ask us to leave

You already had.

At a field of uncut hay.
Same laytex glove.
Same grey plastic bag
Same executioners guilt.

My guardian angels curiosity and risk slapped my greed with icarus wings.

I cried.
threw you like a baseball into the sunset.
Cars pulled wind behind us while I stared.

How like me to give my full curiosity to what is known to die soon.
How greedy I am to try and bring it back
Risk shoving my hand down its throat to chase a miracle that looks
to you
like charity
for the praise,
then abandon it when I discover
the treasure comes with its own ghosts.

I pull down another sunset.
Fast.
Like curtains on a stage

Sabía el día de mi perecer,
Navegue sin pensarlo,
Te busque en los campos de café,
En cada grano perfumado,
Me sumergí en los pozos
De líquido arábigo,
Cada sorbo sin hallar valentía,
Te busque en mi cuarto,
Entre el papel, también en mi desorden,
Solo me topé con sentimientos,
Pero no te encontré,
Hasta que te vi al fin
Echo de trigo, de maíz,
Sangrabas café, pero no flaqueaste,
Pude sonreír otra vez.
Héroe te encontré lleno de fuerza,
Y recordaste todas aquellas aventuras
Todas las victorias, al perforar mi mente
pude levantarme y ser héroe de grano perfumado,
De líquido arábigo, con cabello de maíz y corazón de trigo.

Hand in hand he leads me
down the hall to the bedroom,
     sweetness is found
  as love opens in full bloom.

    it’s in the way he touches
   the way he runs his fingers*
               through
                       my
                           red
                               hair
it’s in the way he makes me feel
    cherished, loved, adored
       making me feel as though
                              i’m
                     floating
                  on
                      air…..
I wish to be lost in that moment
                   forever
      a connection so strong
        an embrace so tight
      to just love him always
       everyday every night.

to take long walks
             along the countryside
    down an old dirt road
into the forest, we’ll hide……

then back home
              down that short hallway
to the room that he made
                 for that coming day…..

it’s all in what he does
   it’s in the way he touches
                  heart
                      body
  ­                      mind
                           soul….

          *I wish to freeze time
                 to be lost in that moment…..

One day I would love to be forty winters deep
with ***** days, tired eyes,
and all we do is sleep.

In the confines of our cozy home
we hear the cracking of a fire.
Cherishing the delicate love we have
that seems will never go expired.

The temperature is freezing, but
your gentle touch keeps me warm.
We can lay in each other's arms
and listen to the storm.

Holding my hand with blooming passion
and smiling widely in a peculiar fashion,
he says: 'Last question, my friend?';
Reverberating pulses through me he sent.
'Kind stranger, there's nothing more I'd like to know;
all else you might say, will make you a foe.'
And I saw his lust fading away,
his weariness shining in the break of day.
I bid goodbye and watched him go
with eyes glum; did not cry, though
'cuz I know I'll see him again,
soon, in this life or the next.