Let me be your  breath
Inhale and exhale me slowly - quietly
Let me fill your lungs with every touch, every word
Until your lungs are filled completely
Let me teach you how to breathe again.

Every once in a while,
when time stands still
just long enough,
the hazy curtain
of life is teased apart.
Just enough to see
the world for what it is.
And when that happens,
I inhale and grip tight my breath;
Hoping that maybe, just maybe,
some of the infinite beauty
will be trapped in my heart.

Your deep oceanic eyes dilate
Leaning forward to get that first kiss
He lingers, but you don't wait
Something he'll fondly reminisce

Fingertips trailing his collar
Your hands trace whats unknown
Just as the world becomes much smaller
He pulls you close and let's out a moan

Through his deep gazes you giggle
Your flurrying lungs won't rest-
You can't breathe it's simple
This happiness involuntarily expressed

The smiles never seem to abate
The moments together are pure bliss
The sudden unfounded belief in fate-
Begins from looking straight into the abyss

He makes you tremble and shiver
As he laughs avalanches into you
You begin to feel like a river
You're swept off your feet without clue

And then you panic
You start to realize
You're falling quickly
And he won't be there
To catch you
In between kisses
and laughter
You tease him
"Show me your *******"
And then your tone changes
And you say
The forbidden words
And you can't take them back
So your eyes begin to well up
And form into pools, into ponds, into lakes, into oceans
And you're drowning
In your emotions

The sweetness once upon your teeth
Disappears from his soft touch
He seeks you for his own relief
You're both eachothers crutch

Weeks pass and your oceanic eyes
Constrict in the mirror
With bloodshot moons
And panic attacks
You can't breathe
it's simple like that

This is how you know when love is true.

When your senses are numb and yet it pains you so much still, like your lungs are being wring out of blood; like your spine is a tower of stacked-up bones, collapsing; and your words fail and your every desperate action is scarce and all you feel inside well up on your eyes, condensed in an oceanic, salty drop. When you are no one but a void, deluging tears; until your lap is a swamp of one part sorrow and ninety-nine parts nostalgia.

Trying to Breathe**

I'm sure when my Mom brought me into this world,
She would have never imagined I would have done something so stupid.
That day 1964 is still clear as hell..blowing clouds of "killa" with my very first smoke.
Kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette all on the sameday..Milestone..NOT
Nothing but a cool fool...So Cool.....My *** was frosted over!

This COPD death sentence reeks of a smell you never get rid of.
Shallow strained breathing keeps time with syncopated heart beats.
And if your a smoker my friend I know this message is gonna get your attention.
Let the message sink in and swirl around your head like those clouds of "killa".
And remember this................

"You can't delete racism. It's like a cigarette, you can't stop smoking if you don't want to and you can't delete racism if people don't want to. But I'll continue do everything I can to help!"

-K.E. Carman 2015

I feel trapped inside my own lungs.
Like a tribe without a leader.
A wolf without a pack.

I feel lost.
without
you.

The more i think, the more i die inside.
Nowhere to run and hide, not even inside.
When hiding until the time passed
May have worked in the past.
Now there's no such thing as time to pass.
There's nothing left to do but to wade through.
Waves of emotion topple and crash over.
My lungs embrace the feeling of restriction and tension.
My heart continues to fight the urge to make it all stop.
Make it all stop.

Dare I disturb the image of your beauty?
Though I fear such torment, I strike at memory
Shattering beliefs and scattering them haphazardly
Across a pool of my own lucidity.
You are now only a product of past tragedy
Never in the foreground to hurt me
Always sinking deeper into the water we’ve wasted
Nourishing black roses hardly blooming.

Nay, still you smile in amusement
Knowing you have evaded deployment
Shielding yourself with a layer of plasticity
That returns to haunt the subtle elasticity
Of minds superficially moulded into belief
Now brandishing nothing against an enemy
Elated in the minute lapse of reality
They’ve made ripple in your vanity.

Dare I shelter a deadly renegade?
With arms shaking, I open doors to your shadows
Watching them slither back into their corners
Forming warm cloaks of comfort
In the crevices of a vessel unrecovered
Safe in its weak kindness and susceptibility.

I close my eyes to the feeling
Of your presence within my soul
Roping in the acceptance I had always evaded
Locking it into the vacant basement
Of self-acceptance, as you sigh out resentment
Removing it from the dying voices in my lungs
Tasting copper dissipating on my tongue.

Dare I accept my demons?
You are already a part of me.