You know, everyone’s always moving so fast.
And yeah I’m here,
always here.
I’m tense. Everyday I walk
Can’t help but feel
that one wrong move and you’ll lose it all.


Yeah sure, I smile.
Yeah sure, I look cold.
Yeah sure, I don’t look scared.
But I am. I really really am.
I just don’t want you to see it.
I wear a mask. Believe me, I’m scared.


Okay I get it.
I’m just saying this in a poem.
In hopes you don’t
bother to read,
but hoping you
actually would.


I’m actually here just to tell you
You’re never alone
There’s always someone
in a million people that
try to look down
on you, on me, on us,
on them, on her, on him
And still feel tense and regret
Because they’re not this. They’re not that.


Get this. We are human.
If you can’t do it. You can’t.
It is no one’s responsibility
to live in the standards,
to be a living drone
of the flaws of society
or the stereotypes from
our brains.



You just be you and I’ll be me.
But don’t *****. Cuz the world doesn’t
always need one. Just be youself,



Really. I mean it. Just be you
in a way you hurt no one.

Not even yourself.

A war with you,
is like a war with who?
A dance with you,
is like an illusion,
that will never cease to come true.
People have wasted lives,
to have you,
to make two,
as one.

And this desire,
to be special in a fire
they call love that
should be have.
I call it, mind control.
You call it, "True love's toll".

It seems everything's unsure.
If it's an us or is it just me.
Yet you assume,
wanting to love,
to give
to be given
to be loved.

But there is no assurance.

Is there?

A man? A woman?
They are not everything.
Everyone comes and go.
They escape our lives,
like a throwback in a row.

Don't waste your life.
A woman may be yours,
but your lives are
a two separate course.

Don't waste your life.
To a man who has the ability
to take and take
while loving you in a fashion,
so fake.

The world goes round,
to money, to fame
to love.
But loving can hurt.
And it's not your worth.

**So give yourself, the love you deserve.

I was jealous of
jade green oceans,
and the way they dance
when the sunlight hits
them just right.
Or, how I've ached
to wear a shade unbroken,
like the clear blue morning
with its cloudless skies.
I've even dreamed of dressing
in that cold steel gray,
that makes you want to stay
on those lonely rainy nights.
But, I've come to embrace
my amber sands,
that pull you in like the warmth
of the sun at noontime.
Only can my brown eyes
blossom and burst,
like the earth,
so tender and soft
after the storms subside.

You'll never know how much I wish that you could glance at the person in the mirror and see all the beautiful little things about yourself. Your tiny little freckles or the adorable way your nose crinkles up when you're confused. The way your eyes twinkle like stars in the night sky when you speak with passion about the things you love. Your dimples when you're smiling with out even thinking about it or your laugh that is so captivating. The way your inner beauty radiates off of you, even when you're sporting a messy bun and sweats. God I just wish you could look in the mirror and fall in love with yourself instead of seeing everything about you that you hate. But, all you see is a face full of acne scars, eyebrows that aren't quite perfect enough, a nose that's just a little too big, and dark circles under your eyes because your late night thoughts kept you from sleeping  again. You hate yourself so much that you turn away from the mirror. You don't love yourself, so you can understand why no one else would either, and I think that's truly the most heartbreaking thing. And, maybe the hardest person to love is yourself, but darling I'm begging you to atleast try.
*- yourself

"You are beautiful "
"I love your smile"
"I love you"

Who couldn't love you?, they ask. I would do everything for you, they say.

I'll tell you whats wrong with me, I'm a woman and i'm complicated with my every decision, thought, and argument. Do you realize how patient and honest my partner has to be?

To find the man who can handle all of MY flaws was a very hard task and sometimes even though i have found him, my heart and brain fight every day over if i have made the right move..if i have made the right decision.

I literally have to remind myself on the daily how blessed i truly am. I am learning how to appreciate my life. How to appreciate my love. How to appreciate myself..
Hardest part is waking up each day and telling myself, "I love you. I love your smile. You are so beautiful who couldn't love you?"

I fight for love. My love.

The woman I see
I look in the mirror at my reflection, and gaze at the woman looking back.
She has been through so much in her short life, and yet her soul is still intact.
She has known love vast as an ocean, and thought her heart would burst from the joy.
As well as the pain from losing that love, so deep she felt her life was destroyed.
She has seen beauty so vivid and golden that all she could do was stare back in awe.
Along with the ugliness she’d rather forget; it made her curl up in a ball and withdraw.
She’s laughed so hard that her stomach hurt, and it took hours to cease.
Then cried tears that left her heartbroken, and numb, from feeling the bottomless grief.
At times she’s been brave, and overcome doubt, to be stronger than she once was.
That very next breath been afraid to do something, and make an error she couldn’t whitewash.
She’s become quite a woman from living her life, and, she has gained so much intelligence.
Yet she’s also been a fool, and brutally reminded, she still has immense incompetence.
The woman I see looking back from the mirror is true deep down to her soul.
I applaude her and believe that, no matter what happens, she is still more precious than gold.

Randy McPeek

If I could write myself a letter, this is what I’d say…                      
Dear me,
Don’t blame yourself for what happened, it was not your fault.
You were a warm and caring person, to catch you wasn’t difficult.
He acted like he cared for you, that his love was real.
He was a man who didn’t exist; his true self well concealed.
You wanted to believe the lies, and, I know how badly you are hurt.
I’m here with you, it will be okay, but you’ll have to do some work.
Become stronger than the person you once were, I have faith you can.
Take the time to love yourself, it’s important you understand.
It was not because you weren’t good enough, that he left without a word.
He was the one who wasn’t enough. He is broken, his mind; disturbed.
This was a tough lesson to learn, this man never loved you.
You have the strength to grow and learn, to remember your value.
Be gentle and forgive yourself, you were only seeking love.
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, or a bird that becomes a dove.
Your heart will become whole again, and one day soon you’ll see
That all along the one who loved you most, and always will, was me.

Randy McPeek.