Dear Grandma,
I saw you for the last time today,  
I held your hand
as you slipped away
and now my eyes sting,  
as much as my broken heart.

Beyond all this grief,
I find sombre reflection
and quiet relief;
But, I'd rather have you here
holding me in your arms
and wiping away my tears.  

©️Lizzie Bevis

You slipped
away from me,
like the robins and
cherry blossoms when
spring ends,
and the fractured nights
of winter come.
I will search the
midnight alleys, and the
mountains of Chile.
I will listen for
your sweet laughter.
I long to taste your
honeysuckle lips, and
hear your heartbeat.
If I never find you,
I will be a lost leaf
on the lonesome
vagabond wind.

Questions... After questions... after questions
Is it worth it? am I?
What if I didn't exist? Shall I?
Pain. Why is it endless? Shall I end it?
Flashbacks. Why did I go through that?
Happiness... when? Where? How?
Questions... after questions... after questions
Love. What is it? Where's mine?
Peace... must be death... right?
Fear. Why the constant fear?
Questions, after questions... after questions.

Miserable miserable
i was
I am
N
I would

The holding of tears
Eventually dropping like icebergs

Rocks rocks rocks
They sound like rocks
They feel like rocks
They hurt like rocks

How coldness n strength
Changed into warmth n weakness

I followed your light
Worshiped your bright
Through deep n pain
How can i stop the rain

I kept it inside
You threw it aside

We played hide and seek
But only i seek

They said for the sake of love
They said for the sake of redemption

I used to cross my battles
I used to sharpen my dagger  
Now I redeemed my soul
N covered my sword

Those were new
I barley knew

I thought i’m tough
But it was rough

Now we have no tears left
Will cry it blood
We won’t make it stop

This heart is rotten
Filled with brok’n
Kitting it string by string
Oh where did the melody of them go
Oh where did the red in them go

On a September morning, you were laid to rest
The warm morning sun, glistening through the church windows
The flag, dancing in the wind.
The light delicately grazing your white coffin,
along with the church floor, buried in flowers from everyone who held you dear.
A life taken far too soon, by a disease that takes far too many.
I hope you are at peace now, wherever you are

and i am scared

do i hold weights in my hand
that bound me to Hell?
or am i sinking my nails into a rope
that saves me from the plummet of death?

will i let go,
and will i find you?
holding my hand,
kissing my neck,
stroking my cheek?

or will i fall into the arms of a drunk stranger who shares your face?
who dances and sings and paints like you?
but doesn't remember me?

i can't tell.
some people can,
but i can't.
and so i'm terrified
to even breathe differently,
because i don't know if
my lungs will stop entirely,
or if
my fingernails will lose their blue tint.

maybe,
i'd rather not know at all.

Such was blue sea under black sky
Crescent in today's time
14 to 1 was the black rose I gifted
But that poison was mislead and never intended
The pain struck an arterie but my bullets always come back around
Maybe that's why I suffer for so much longer or at least that's what I'm told
Now I'm starved of oxygen such was my deprivation of friends
I couldn't escape so instead I made an exit through the whole in your heart and took out those by your side
This sadness is Unrequited for I made a villain out of me
It's a shame to say that I did break so now I cry silently because I lack the luxury to be free such like the one you write
The inescapable fait I now understand so well you a writer foreshadowing my failure and ultimate demise
I was a poet who chose battles so my death was no surprise