I hate when I lose my cool
Let my crazy show
Bits and pieces slip through my cracks
Otherwise carefully kept below

A world of chaos hides behind eyes
Beyond my skin
Nobody suspects the battlefield
That sets stage within

My neck hurts from holding up weight
Of thousands of mental disputes
Neurons connecting in my brain
And nervous system in cahoots

Around so much ruin each day
Anxiety running my soul
Fracturing under pressure
I snap
I lose control

I do not wish to be blind anymore
Want to face fear
Closed eyes are sore
More worn than they appear

My vision broken
Said my piece
Words were spoken
Feel anger cease

Madness profoundly lifted higher
Joyful instead of sad
Swept up in happy fire
Drying teardrops had

Dammed emotions
Barrier built with sticks
Keeping in oceans
So waters won't mix

But it is time for it to fall
I am not ready to tear it down
Catch pieces of wall
Released to hit ground

Mourning loss of armour strong
Vulnerable
Naked
And bare
Warmth I needed all along
Love
It was always there

You would have to be blind to miss the signs
And not connect dots with lines
The sand in my hourglass draining at a faster pace
My feet themselves are stuck in place
When all that's visible is a brief highlight
Of the flaws kept out of sight
I want to believe what I pretend
Questions I can't comprehend
Unaware my journey is difficult to understand
Try to hold patience
It slips from my hand
If waves were weapons I'd be washed out to sea
Riddled with bulletholes and every type of injury
We could be battle scars on reality to heal
All blue and black
Zero pulse left to feel
Cloudy white sky
Soil below
Pushed around by conscience energies flow
If you were star I swear you'd be the sun
Waving from perch higher than any other one
Train derailing
Scheduled to arrive on time
I would be riding caboose with residual **** and grime
Trapped in last because I never win
In frozen still shots captured posing in
Looking for a positive review
Can call me names cause they're all probably true
In a world fantasy I do my best to keep it real
Battle coincidences
Being up front with how I feel
The truth is not always the easiest to bear
That is an honor with others you must share
Revealed lies to be nothing more than cages
Shattered soul with edges of false pages
Ultimately putting me into an early grave
My fate is sealed
I am too gone to save

You never were the best at opening up wide
Preferring instead to trap weakness inside
To walk these thin lines between love and hate
You've mastered a particular gait
So that you don't trip over perplexity
Playing hopscotch to avoid injury
Limping from your phony pain
Past scars long healed
It seems like make-believe wounds are the only ones revealed
Recent crash in interest leads to exaggerated claims
Fishing for attention just a part of your games
Head over heels
My heart beats blood red
Pounding in fear that your devotion is dead
You said last time you checked your feelings had not faltered
But if that's true then tell me why your behavior has altered
You'd give anything to make me happy
Except your time
My expectations are steadily lowered while accusations climb
To go back to the beginning is my greatest desire
Embers are all that remain of a once raging fire
Wearing a pair of lacy ******* in hopes they will make you stare
But the sad reality is even that won't make you care
I know you never meant for things to end up the way they are
Neither one of us realized we would take extremes this far
Yeah back in our youth we were naive but strong
Over the years we succumbed to the current nudging us along
Never thought we'd see the day our dreams caved in and switched to doubt
Now your presence is a privilege I might have to live without