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Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Long nights consume the slivers of day
Darkness is the Alaskan way
Has the song sung in summer flew away with the birds?
Our have we just forgotten the words?
Been in the shadow cast by winter's arrival
Since then the cold has been my rival
Branches break the sky up like pieces of glass
I look upwards as I walk waiting for danger to pass
Over hills the moon hangs in late afternoon
Hovering like a half-inflated balloon
Commitment to visibility not faltering a bit
Sometimes partly hidden but never completely quits
Dreams of warmer weather weave strands throughout my brain
Trying to ignore the snowfall exclaiming outside the windowpane
Putting all effort into embracing the ice
I can't be the only one who thinks some sunshine would be nice
I swear I was born in the wrong state hahaha
Paul Idiaghe Nov 2020
if I were a god, I’d—

be solved, frame finished, insides intact
like those of an engine running smoothly, carry
this heart as heaven, with legions of love
imbuing beloveds at the flutter
of my belly butter-

flies; these
dreams as dynasties,
ever-flourishing; these creatures titled
thoughts, staying steadfast and faithful
to the tenets of my temple,
unfolding their fortunes

—be all that I am suited for

but I am stifled spells locked within flesh,
rickety humanity,
an ocean tucked into a jar—roaring
and rising, with no moon to
chase, no clouds
to visit;

and so with sharpened dreams,
with the longing for an escape, I cut strings
from my vessel,
but end up with a severed self
and a reality in ruins

and so with a turgid heart,
with a heart that keeps swelling and
searching and spreading
into too many chests, I shatter
in seasons.

oh, but even a god would be jealous
of how I keep splitting
and bleeding with so much love
left to live for, with so many dreams
destined to die for—

much more godly it
is to triumph like a god
in human body.
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Make heart too heavy to hold
Beautiful thing to burst
Nobody else has the power
To break if you do first

Today the day to take control
It may be too late
Worried about romance failing
Proof of eventual fate

I am not just repeating words
A sock puppet limp and hollow
My opinions are my own energy
Do not trust other instinct to follow

Gentle reminder is not good enough
Gentle with only your hands
Let voice have authority over yourself
Answer no commands
I always always expect the worst to avoid disappointment. It's working out pretty good for me actually haha.
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
(HOOK:)
A true friend like you hard to find
Beautiful
Smart
And kind
Greatest person I've ever known
The one who always picks up the phone

(VERSE ONE:)
When I am angry
I'm sad
When I've done something bad
Complain to you about why I'm mad
You somehow make me glad
A bit of laughter
Few jokes
Beers and a lot of tokes
Playful tickle and a dozen pokes
Ounces upon ounces of **** to smoke
It is hard to feel low when you're real high
Lay down
Closed red eyes
Lose the frustration in your mind
Leave it behind
Sometimes wish I was like
You
I wouldn't have to hide
From relatives
My life
You and my family are not alike
It is true you and I
Will be best friends all our lives

(HOOK)

(VERSE TWO:)
Tell how many late-night telephone calls
How many times you swept in to break down all my walls
Is happy ending possible after all?
For a moment free of fear so I take a breath and fall
Either dreaming or I finally worked up the *****
Sad thing about pavement is it's where I crawl
Happy people call me crazy
They don't understand
Pray for my soul because it's ******
When they themselves stray from God's plan
No one is perfect yet stones are still thrown from their hands
Promise when I say you're beautiful that you believe
No matter fiction others try to weave
The hardest part of learning truth is to first receive
You can walk away
It will never truly leave
Haven't posted a rap in awhile
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
All this emptiness is filling me up slow
Can I be full of nothing?
Don't know
What a contradiction
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
You make me wish I was as hollow as a feather

Believe I could ride wind directly to your palms even in a blizzard with enough will and small enough density

I would fold limbs over one another to form the shape of a paper airplane
A postage stamp on my face for good measure
And leap off porch railing to be carried away by spontaneous currents

Soulmates do whatever it takes to draw near one another
There is no obstacle larger than love
Written 4-17-20
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I have been trying to control the need
Escape ruthless desire
Hide fears within quiet looks
Start to falter and tire
For each time you leave my side
Another day crumple into a ball
Try to stand up by myself
Every attempt immediately fall
Way too wobbly to carry own weight
Legs always buckle and cave
Powerful devotion I feel for you
Holds me captive
A slave
When I try to regain balance I just get even unsteadier
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Moving faster on than the speed of light
I am stuck here standing still
Make the journey look so easy
The climb is all uphill

I have attempted to take the first step
Cannot manage even minute motion
Limbs must weigh a thousand pounds
Resistance as if in the ocean

My awareness acutely sharpens
Realize I am in over my head
Suspected the pain would hit me eventually
Didn't know it would feel like a ton of lead

Waves of loneliness continue crashing down
Drowning in a sea of solitude
Silence keeps me company at night
Amplifying disquietude

Toxic impure tainted thoughts
Stain images in my brain
One by one they descend and splatter
Like stinging drops of acid rain

Poisoning environment
Questions harsh and demanding
Every breath inhaled is polluted
My body somehow remains standing

Inside hopes are spiraling to the ground
Impact results in fire
Burning dignity
Blackened and charred
Flames that never tire

Wayward demons romp in soul
Delight in my dismay
Carving tic-tac-toe boards into flesh
Misery just another game they play

I reached a brand new all time low
Abandoned strength to care
Cannot find the motivation to do Laundry
Today I wore no underwear

Those unfortunate enough
Cross my path
Targets for my distress
Knowing causing them despair
Does not make mine any less

I bear witness to actions
Hardly can trust my eyes
This selfish behavior is that of
Somebody I do not recognize

A sporadic black hole swallowing light
Eclipsing visible sun
Pacing anxious circles
Trapped
Nowhere to run

I wonder if you gazed at me now
Would you feel any emotion at all?
Have you closed off your heart from me
A tall
Thick
Cement wall?

For one last kiss I would trade with glee
Every possession I own
Nostalgia blooms under skin
Chilling to the bone

I felt lightning when we touched
Flash of passion warm and strong
I feel frozen without that spark
Depending on it so long

The galaxies in eyes were deep
Brighter than the multitude of heavens stars
Shining harder when staring at me
Still sparkle wherever you are

I miss the way torsos collided
Hugging eachother tight
Perfect puzzle pieces molded
Fitting together just right

So much time experienced by your side
Why do I yearn for more?
Should be content with memories
Let you walk out the door

An invisible string tethers me here
Tied with fear and blame
Following like a shadow
Like a moth to flame

A small voice tucked within
Whispered phony fantasies
Argued there was still hope for us
Was wrong to entertain those pleas

You take my universe in palms of your hand
With fingers firmly shake
It collapses
Manage to convince me
It was caused by MY mistake

Again you paint my world grey
Colors fade from sights eyes see
I have no right to be mad that you took them away
You are the one who gave them to me

The day you decided to leave
Without saying goodbye
Consider a sort of funeral
Let our relationship die

Twilight finds us separate places
Dwelling in a dream
I inhabit dreaded ditches
Realities worse than they seem

But I was affected more drastically
By the void left behind
You felt a bit emptier alone
I lost huge chunks of heart and mind

You carried on with your chin held high
No ghosts stalking every move
Recollection of rippling presence
Haunting hologram I can't remove

Into self-pity I throw myself
Asking for merciful end
How else will I find relief?
Tried countless ways to mend

That ends in certain failure
Lacerations cannot fully close
They bleed and bleed and bleed
Dripping out woes

And I was at breaking point
Each cell cracked and shattered
Exploded into tiny particles
Damaged
Across soil scattered

With a gust of wind was disbanded
I'm fated to retrace my tracks
Collecting pieces of my soul
Haven't yet gotten all back

You changed me irreversibly
Can't stand my reflection
Where beauty you used to know once stood
Is a paradigm of imperfection

For life of me I can't remember
When switched from hot too cold
The truth is my temperature dropped
My hand is now too icy to hold
Phew. That took awhile to get down but worth the effort. I had a hard time finding an ending but what do you think?
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