"isn't that something you
want?" she asked.
"no" i replied. "what i desire cannot be given. only by providence can that which is unattached be realized and only by letting go can it be integrated."
"well then...", she said with a smile,
"...perhaps it's time, hmmm?"
and at that she folded
in on herself
over and over
like complex origami
until she became
a butterfly.  

then she fluttered
into my
chest and took
root in my heart
like a seed.  

she grows there
now like a low moon
lover bathing in moonshine,
dripping in starlight,
changing in
the glow.

my heart doesn't want to let you go,
because you made me feel something other than numbness.

my brain cries to let you go,
because you're going to cost me much more than just a heartbreak.

I'm trying my best,
I'm working when I just want to rest.

It ***** when you find out the best thing for you,
It's not something you want to do.

I've had to let go of some really important friends,
It made me realize that all good stuff ends.

The empty plastic packet escapes its captor and runs down the street
Disappearing with the wind.
The horizon comes alive as trees sway with abandon.
The lone blackbird is seen hastily making its way back home.
That’s when I feel it.
The first drop,
Singeing my cheek,
Languidly making it’s way to my chin.
I look upto the sky for the first time.
Angry grey clouds veiling the sun stare back at me.
They seem desperate for release.
But something more powerful seems to be holding them back.
What is it?
What’s stopping them from unleashing sheets of rain
that will slide down from above
Hit the concrete and jump into a puddle?
“What’s stopping you?” I ask out loud
Chin tilted upwards, lips parted, eyes impatiently flitting across the scene above
I await a response.
For the longest time the clouds don’t reply
The tendons in my neck start to ache and I begin to look down
That’s when I hear it
The faintest sound whispering
At first the words seem too quiet, too incoherent
But they start to get louder, clearer
Those sounds become words that string together in a singular sentence that suffuses my being.
“You, are stopping us.”

you were deceiving

and when i got too close

i didn’t know better until

the rash that followed.

-i was wrong about you.

I am always waiting
For the day
I'll see you leaving
Cause I hurt you too much
But you're just loving me
And I want to see you happy
Smiling with someone else
Realizing that wasn't me
The girl in your arms
The one who causes your smiles
I'd love to let you go
But I love you
More than you could know

I'm getting kind of tired of being so mad
Reliving the details of my past
over and over it doesn't help me much,
but I can't seem to stop.

And I'm getting tired of hurting so bad
from knowing I gave you all I had
over and over but it was never enough
so eventually I gave up.

I chose to let go
I chose to move on,
but the pain it still lingers and follows me home
every. night.
So I think I ought
to try something new
something to change how I feel about you
so this time,
I'm gonna say Thank You

Thank you for holding my heart too long
for teaching me right from wrong
thank you for the pain
I know that sounds insane,
but I'm grateful for the way you broke me down,
cause I built a new me
from the pieces on the ground