I place
My parts
Just so
(In rows)
And settle
Into
Around
And through
My frame,
Letting go
Of what’s not needed,
So what is
Can steady.

I'm sorry.
I love you endlessly.
You have been and will always be the one.
You have been there through some of my worst moments in life.
You have held me together when all I could do was shatter myself.
You have never asked more from me than i could ever ask from myself.
You are so strong and kind, you have been hurt more times than anyone can count.
Yet here you are, loving me.
I can hear, see, and feel the strain.
I know nothing I ever do could make you love me the way that youve loved him.
It wouldn't be fair to anyone for me to keep asking you for that,
And I'm not angry or hurt.
I'm just sorry
I'm sorry for all of our fights
All of my walking away
All of my demands and disrespect
I'm sorry for continuing to want more.
I cant say that I love you and continue to do this
I need to quit
I need to walk away
You're not ready to move on
You're not able to love me the same
You need time and space to find the same girl who I fell in love with
I came in at the hardest time of your life
And I've only been making it harder
I focus so much on my own actions
My own sacrifices and feelings
But my whole life I've always been told
Being in love means putting someone else first
It's just that noone ever taught me that you can be in love with someone,
And still be the person that tears then apart
I love you, so I have to let you go.
This isnt a reflection of you
Not a decision based on how you make me feel
Not about how you prioritize me in your life
This is because I love you.
I rely on you when things are so heavy that I cant shoulder the burden alone
And every time that I do i know I'm pushing you away more and more.
Please know that I'll always love you, please know that I feel this way because I love you.
I'm sorry

You held my hand and kissed the rim. I wanted to let go but I couldn’t. I knew it was fake, I knew it wasn’t real but I still couldn't move. I wanted you but I knew I could never have you. I will never have the real you. I will never mean to you as much as you mean to me. Yet every time you called my name, you sang I love you, I couldn't help but fall deeper, knowing that it's all lies. You took advantage, you thought I was a possession. Still, you were my obsession.  I wanted you to know, I know you don’t care, I know you don't love my heart but I still gave you everything because I truly loved you. From your quirky smile to your diamond eyes. You were my dream guy and I was your dream body. But guess what. I am still holding your hand because I care. Now that you're gone, you let go of my hand, I cry out your name...It's really not fair. My thoughts are running, my ears are ringing because our memories are the loudest blares.

I wish I could care just a little bit less
Just a little bit less how you like how I dress
How you hint at contentment, yet indulge in insatiable desires
How my mind morphs the image, with destructive fires
Each burn scar cherished, in a safe of contempt
Not towards you, but a suicide attempt
A slaughtering of any worth in me, when the fires reignite
The heat is searing, the ravaging is bright
I contend and condemn, I try to escape
But the rage of my mind, is in no logical shape
I wish I could care just a little bit less
How I need to understand like I’m one who’s obsessed
How it hurts you for me to ask again why
Yet it hurts me to sit in the flames of my lie
What a puzzle it is, and I don’t understand
How I’m supposed to love by keeping secrets instead
I thought it was said that the truth will set free
Yet why is my truth-seeking turning on me?
My method, obsessive, compulsive, I guess?
Lord, how do I love without creating a mess?
I wish I could care just a little bit less
That your words match your actions, is it too much of a request?
Do I always need proof to believe in your ways?
The way that you love that is truthful and stays?
I guess I’m a girl full of little faith
A doubter at best, a cynic ready to scathe
I guess when I forgive, it’s a lie every time
Cause I just hold on to memories to protect my own pride
Am I such a fool I can’t believe in the good?
Is there always an ulterior motive that traps you in my hood?
Why do I let the lies seep into my skin?
Instead of allowing the Lord’s truths to grow within?
I wish I could care just a little bit less
That if I was your best friend, you’d meet what I expect
Such a loser I am, I’m too blind by my ways
I miss the genuineness of your own loving plays
Take the ‘us’ out of trust and it’s broken in two
I’m a fool if I think that it can only be you
Two play the game, but three declares the victory
Unless we want to fall apart, our glue should be more than what we see
So I wish I could care just a little bit less
About my own selfish thoughts that make me depressed
About comparing my ways with a billion of yours
And declaring false truths to justify all our wars
Instead oh I wish, I could care a bit more
For the One who has paid every price for each score
And no score can compete, for the One has won all
How I wish that my eyes were set fully on His call
Lord, I surrender my wishes, I give You control

We’re out of place. Are we out of our minds?
You deserve better, I’m scared of what you’ll find,
About me, about my past. Some things I can’t explain,
The last thing I want is to be your source of pain,
So spread your wings and fly far away from here,
Listen to your heart, run away from the fear,
You don’t know me, the dark side of the moon,
You don’t know the side of me that’s out of tune,
My heart tears apart knowing I made you cry,
With my baggage, I’m broken, I want to try,
I don’t want to drag you through the dirt,
With my emptiness and with my hurt,
So before I break your heart in two,
Run far away because I cannot catch you.