The skeleton on my shirt that matches
The pain in my head as
Letters pop up on my phone I cannot read
From here
Behind me and
The more I fight my medication that
Whispers to me
"Sleep. Morning will come. The day is done. Smile."
But
The more I fidget and
The more I write and
The more I cry has it
Screaming to me and
I faint knowing I am nothing more than
Pills in bottles.

Dear Self,
The steps I take towards finding out who you are,
Are a little shakey.
I cannot figure out what it is that is dragging me to the depths of hell that I call,
My thoughts.
Sometimes in the middle of the night, I question when your soul would evacuate its home and soar through the sky.
Self, you're so fragile, it tears me apart looking at you.
Self, how can I save you?
How is it that you're so numb to almost everything?
How am I supposed to feel when you're so caught up in your own world to notice the one beneath your feet?
Self, I am losing you and I can't figure out how to bring you back.
Maybe this is how I become my real self;
The unforgiving,
Doesn't give a flying ****,
Resting ***** face,
Self.
I think I'd like that,
But then again,
I think I'd rather stay true to who I really am,
Than become a stereotypical woman that basis her life on the hate she perserved.

Men I don’t love
Send me emails telling me that they care about people like me.
They say,
I am committed to helping people achieve their dreams by providing the right support. I want to thank you for your interest in utilizing this opportunity.

The boy I know
Sends me a message saying he saw potential in us.
He writes,
I wanted to help you become better. And when you spoke to me that first day, I thought that maybe we could become something greater than we are now. Together.

Men that know me
Send me emails saying that they liked learning what’s in my head.  
They say,
I recognize the time and effort you put into this and truly appreciate that you shared your thoughts and ideas with me.

The boy that doesn’t love me
Sends me a message saying he knows what he meant to me.
He writes,
I know how hard you tried to make this work. I think you’re amazing, how you always give your all into everything. How you gave your all to me.

Men I don’t know
Send me copy-paste emails that I have memorized.
They say,
There was an outstanding selection of applicants this year and the competition was intense. I regret to inform you that you were not selected to receive an award.

The boy I love
Sends me a message saying what Men I Don’t Know couldn’t.
He writes,
*It’s just that this isn’t what I’m looking for.
You’re not who I am looking for.

And maybe, just maybe
Love is not the four letters
But the spaces in between them.


-- Eleanor

Dear Luke,
You have become lukewarm, almost unresponsive.
I would ask you to leave but I'm afraid you're no longer wanted, elsewhere.
Your presence has become indifferent.
You have caused a feeling of emptiness that dances within me on lonely nights.
You have caused a shift between wanting the world and wanting nothing to do with it.  
You have caused riptides in the sea found inside of me,
I am afraid I'll soon flood and later,
I will be void,
No matter how many people approach me with You filling their insides, I'll kindly, gently, passionately push them away and ask them to never come back again.
I ask you to rip whatever voice that screams and calls for you in the middle of the night.
I am so sick of wanting some form of you.
I'd like to imagine that someday my significant other and I,
Would have you brimming within us and reminding us of the good that is still found on earth, yet for now,
I want to forget you.
I want to be so numb that even your flames burning my skin,
Cannot cause me to blink in fear, disgust, and pain.
Please leave.
Leave and don't come back because I am so tired of mending wounds that are far too big for any of the bandaids I possess.

Hate,
Angel.

By Arcassin Burnham


Love I'm buying what your selling.
Will it be us,there ain't no telling.
Girl you better tell somebody when the gettings good,
Don't you get this passion I feel so misunderstood.

Safe to say for heaven's sake where it is safe,
Like everyday and nights to when I think of you I elevate,
The faith that you anticipate,
Means much to me than my own state,
If there was 6 billion of you the world would be a better place,

Tell somebody,
Wishing the pale moon would call us,
spending so much time together,
Swear the time would be very obvious,
Conversation is a rare specimen,
Don't want it to come an end,
Love you to the moon and back and all of it's glory,
Don't care if we commit a sin.

It always feels this good when I'm kissing you,
It always looks this good in a setting,
Please don't forget all these moments running through the
Trees, heavy virtues,
You'll know it cause I'll never ever hurt you,
Love I'm buying what your selling.
Will it be us,there ain't no telling.
Girl you better tell somebody when the gettings good,
Don't you get this passion I feel so misunderstood.