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Nicole Jan 2018
"Commitment issues"
Commitment: a designated set of time
Issues: problems

So I cannot, successfully,
Designate an "appropriate" amount of time
To a relationship
Is that right?

Keep in mind,
These women enter my life
And I tell them I don't believe in marriage
And they say "that's ok"
Until it's not.

Maybe it's a comment I made
Or maybe they forgot
But something changes over time
And I am not an object
I am not some possession
That people can lay claims to
I am a human
With ever-changing needs and desires
With thoughts and feelings
And my own perception of reality

So maybe I get anxious when people
Try to put some hold on me
You chalk it up to commitment issues
What if I just don't like feeling owned?
What if I simply refuse
To let anyone remove my autonomy?

And what's even wrong with that?
Who gets to decide what is an
"Appropriate" amount of time?
Oh, wait,
That's "forever" right?
Says who?
Why should I continue to chase this
Socially-constructed dream
Of spending my entire life with one person
If that's not what makes me happy?

Trust me, I've tried for a long time
And I could never seem to find
A singular being
Who I'd willingly spend eternity with
If that even exists
And until this point
I've been unhappy most of my life
Reflecting on my failed attempts at
Happy monogamy

I am finally happy now
Free love is beautiful
It has liberated my soul
It has liberated my love
And my sense of self
For once I feel happy most days
I am focusing on myself now
Instead of pouring everything into another
I'm growing more everyday
And learning more about who I am

But you just brush that off
Saying my polyamorous identification
Is a manifestation
Of some fear of commitment
It couldn't possibly be the real me
It couldn't possibly be the way I feel happiest
Because it's not the "normal" way to desire?
It's not the logical form of love?
Or it's just different
Or it's just new
And you rejecting it within me
Means you aren't accepting me for who I am
In this moment

If that's the case
Then I don't know who you're in love with
Because this is who I am
Whether you like it
Or disagree with it
Or not
This is who I am
And I'm so over
Trying to validate
Justify
And explain myself
Just because someone disagrees with my form of loving
Dani Dec 2017
You are mad at me for wearing my oddity on my sleeves
We can’t choose to have a descrite ,
Invisible oddity
We are get what we are given
We can’t choose our identity
What makes us comfortable
We can’t choose what fixes us
It is the way it

I May look different to you
I may wear my oddity with pride
God knows how long it took me to overcome
The violent outburst from you

Maybe you are mad for I do the thing you wish you could do yourself
Something you deny for yourself
Identity liberation
I can’t deny who I am
I can’t hide
And I never will
I’ve had a lot of horrible stares and comment by strangers lately (mainly to do with being ‘queer looking’) and it really got me down. But I wrote this and felt better snd now all I feel is pride
Umi Dec 2017
When the Devil falls he brings us pain
As if it were Acid to rain
Just like that, I give in, there's nothing I can gain

Such a falling devil, who lands on my heart
And then decides to tear it all apart....
And all of that simply because I have lowered my guard

I cannot put myself to rest, this life is a hell without an end
And while this demon consumes me slowly and wants me to bend
I am witnessing the loss of my one friend

What is happening, am I crazy, am I mad ?
But that shouldn't be bad...
If I seal myself away, this devil won't make me sad

I don't want to be evil I don't want to be twisted...
But its my fault because I have not resisted...
Maybe I have become a devil
Maybe this is my downfall
No, theres no need for you to bring me into the judgement hall

Just throw me into hell...
I know I deserve it well..


~ Umi
Rebecca Sorenson Dec 2017
Why do we hide ourselves
burrowed deep underground
into the confines
of our mind?

It’s like a prison
one that can be harsh
yet also soothing
almost like a spa

And you get so caught up
in the massages
that you forget
all of the beatings

And when it switches
you’re struck down
again and again
until you’re back at square one

And all of this back and forth
it’s taking its toll
wearing you down
until you can’t even think

Perhaps we should tear the prison down
and instead, build a house
a cozy place to call home
where there is no judgement
and you can finally be you
I wrote this for a friend. He is having trouble finding himself. I understand, fore I've been in his place before.
Simon Monahan Dec 2017
Generations from now, your mark made upon God’s green earth,
After dozens of celebrations of your day of birth,
On that day when you, old now, exhale your last whispered breath,
And the bed on which you recline becomes your bed of death,
When your poor wingless soul is snatched up in your angel’s flight,
And naught but our Lady’s mantle guards you ‘gainst the cold night,
When you find yourself stripped before the Just Judge and His throne,
And now without defense are made all your past sins to own,
When the book of your life is read, when there rings in your ears
Your virtues and your vices, strengths and stumbles, all your years,
When there’s room no longer for excuses, appeals, or sighs,
When through your tears you are forced to meet His great fire-lit eyes,
You need not wonder how He’ll greet you; I know it, I think:
“Thanks daughter, for I was thirsty, and you gave Me to drink.”
For Grace
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
You said I may as well
Be in jail
Because I spend
So long in my room.

I didn't go outside today
You said at least
Prisoners go outside
For fresh air once
A day.

Well sure,
I'll be a prisoner,
If you'd like.
I practically am.

This house is a prison
I'm monitored
Asked to work
Do this
Do that
If the things I do
Are "nothing" to you
Or not up to your standard
Of being worthy
Then I'm punished.

My room is my cell
It's my space
I've personalized it
I've made it mine
It feels safe
It's my choice
To spend time here.

But you still barge in
Even when the door's closed
You still demand things
You judge how I've made it
The way things look
The state its in
My own touches.
You prove it's not mine
By violating it.

Sure,
I could go outside.
But that's only
A larger
More diverse prison
Where I'm judged further
By the guards of society
I have to be alert
So I'm not abused
Or harassed
By fellow inmates.

Thanks for the metaphor,
Mother
But it doesn't matter.

I'm content
Being confined
In my cell.

l.v.s
Just a little bit of a vent from last night hahaha... haha.... ha.
Katie Read Nov 2017
I remember being sixteen and being in love.
My heart raced at the mere anticipation of him.
I  honestly believed that he was perfect.
But he never truly loved me for me; not in retrospect.

After that I went searching for a new love.
One that would love me for who I am.
I searched for years but I didn’t find it.
Just constant disappointments and an inability to commit.

Then I decided I would love no more.
I’d never give myself over again unless it was inescapable.
I promised myself, my mother and all my friends.
But a matter of months later I fell in love all over again.

I couldn’t fathom my own weakness- it felt like giving in.
Until I realised the love I’d found had to be real;
Because, yes he loved me true,
But most importantly; he helped me love my own skin too.
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