"i'm jealous of the rain that falls upon your skin. it's closer than my hands have been."

How does it feel, when he touches you?
Do you think of me by any chance?
Or does he give you everything that you need.
I want to know, if I race through your consciousness.

There's nothing that I want more,
But for you to be happy and satisfied.
You are a queen and you deserve,
All of the best things in life, given to you.

I've always been apprehensive
About not being abundant, which
Made me become cruel towards you.
I've demolished so much of us.

I wish you could forgive me.
Even though you belong to someone new,
I'll constantly be in need of you.
I want to give you more than what he can.

But is that a possibility?
I never admit my jealously,
Since you merit every bit of goodness
That he could give to you.

I want you to belong to me.
I'm afraid to think of,
All of the ways he can touch you
That I can't, or won't be able to.

And I know you're fixed,
Between two worlds right now.
But who is your heaven,
Who is your Earth?

n.n

you asked me if i minded
and i asked you why i would
i asked because i expected you to know
i expected that as my friend you'd know
know why i do mind
because i do mind very much
i mind hearing you laugh with him
i mind seeing him smile with you
i mind hearing him so happy with you
i mind seeing my secret fear come to life
i do mind
i mind because it hurts
it hurts to see him so quickly accept you again
it hurts because he so quickly ignored my existence
so quickly dropped me from his heart and mind
as if i never mattered to begin with
you watched this all unfold
you watched me begin to cry as he looked away
you saw me crumble as he left
and yet
you have the audacity to ask
if i mind you being his friend