will my hands ever forget the habit of clawing my own wounds for warmth? i lay my vulnerably human skin on sun-dried poems written to breathe, breathe, breathe in — breathe through january's oppressive cold.


i breathe out a mouthful of asphyxiated flowers

Without so much as a burst of white light, without so much as a beclouded face, lingering — I want to go quietly now, like sawdust in a country road — like seafoam under a gray sunset.

My mind insists on leaving.

i am half of a sun-dried breath short of being sane. i sigh and my body bathes in a mouthful of bleeding, blue december — i can feel its colder, longer days stretching inside me.

i wish january comes here soon — in fresh, comforting, yellow warmth.

The limited palette of the January riverbank,
#nomakeup #nofilter
just the burst capillaries and thread veins
bare

A tired earthy visage,
still allures the blackbird and wren
who never truly got the hang
of saying when
and feast past decency

The idea is to recuperate
and re-emerge fresh and green
but truth seems more like this molasses mud
that hold boots firm

Blessings fall
Snowflakes reflect your rise
as they mirror resilience dynamically
under the January moonlight
*
Now is your time
Welcome to your life
Open up
Allow love &

Feel alive. Feel alive. Feel alive.

You vacated our love holiday
We desired to vibrate as one forever
You abandoned my bruised heart

Winter 2021

From ditches, from rubble, from dungeons
From false memory’s catacombs
From barely legible signs of death
When a startled heart from the grave reforms

You will select a single date
With the wind, which approached underground
So you could plunge the freedom as a burning needle
To the glass square of the sky

“January 13th” by Leonardas Gutauskas (in english)



Iš griovių iš griuvėsių iš požemių
Iš klaidžios atminties katakombų
Iš žūties vos įskaitomų požymių
Kai širdis prisikėlus nustemba

Tu atrinksi vienintelę datą
Su tuo vėju kurs artinos pažeme
Kad į skliauto stiklinį kvadratą
Smeigtum laisvę lyg degančią adatą.  

„Sausio 13-oji“, Leonardas Gutauskas (in lithuanian, the original language)