there's a metaphor about
    finding something you weren't looking for
  an unexpected treasure,
       & you were that treasure
I wasn't looking for;
   like a pearl on the beach
or a star in the sky
       I got to graze you with my fingertips;
our lips have never met
    but you consume my every thought
unfold every layer of my heart,
        disarm me
you laid your heart on mine;
     so much love I want to give
even if there's a wait,
      it's worth the wait;
reflected in our eyes when they meet,
          burning candlelight,
    sunset through the window,
how I want you
    need you
  love you
on whatever is handy
     I will write...

I think it's time for me
to stop counting the days
with notches on the wall
about something
I never really had.

It's time to stop
living in the past
& let go of mistakes
that I made in my youth
& taste the freedom of today.

Our days are a finite number
passing with each moment
every grain of sand swallowed
by the hourglass of life
until nothing remains.

your name used to be
       an intake of cool winter air
    refreshing my lungs
in glowing frost;
  when i speak your name
now nothing happens
      you are a memory
   best left forgotten

I think of how good you're going to taste
feeling your heat reach my lips
waiting for you
to stir you up
get you really ******* hot
waiting to fill you all the way to the brim
just add a little cream
to the sugar already in you
& when your fluids hit my mouth
slide down my throat
I know I'm awake and alive
with my morning coffee

I write of broken
     t e e t h &
deep wounds
nobody can see
d a r k n e s s
     shadows
agony & pain
     it is my
m u s e
that I feast
     on
but I haven't
picked up the
             p e n
in a week
  because the
m u s e
is gone right now
   I feel
strangely
    *h a p p y

I'm just here at 11:15pm
writing at a **** screen
for some **** reason
I forgot when I lost my
******* heart.

I don't feel anymore
don't know why
where my heart was
a paper wrapper sits
saying expired

My head just as empty
saying hello to the fairies
that don't exist in my world
just a lot of fallen angels
slowly dying.

But this **** screen
doesn't solve my issues
that I can't resolve because,
*for ****'s sake I'm not me
anymore