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Dario Tinajero Dec 2024
Constrained positivity
Strained face and eyes
Borne tears of yours, but happy too
You confuse me
You delude me
Always tension in the air
But I’ve learned to breathe fine.
Any utopian thought I’ve made
Quickly gets drenched in fire
When I trip, or laugh weirdly
My world becomes unbalanced
By those ricocheting laughs
And their closed minded anthem
“Clumsy *** Carter, clumsy..”
To this day I hear it in the beat of music
Or the rhythm of the church bells
Most recently, the thump thumping of my heart
Locked away sealed inside,
Charismatic trumpets crafted with pride
Delivered isolation
And paranoic concentration
Don’t trip
Don’t put myself in awkward positions
Don’t.

So now when I see you cry
I can’t help but feel..
Nothing.
No empathy left for you
Or myself.

It’s my closed minded anthem now
Let it consume your life.
fish-sama Dec 2024
i am an inside child,
handles are red-hot
doors terrify me with
screams only i hear if i dare
breathe the fresh air
of scary eyes i am afraid.
mom, why am i not
normal why am i stuck
inside why am i a
hikikomori who
hides why do i cry if i try to
go outside?
from personal experience.
Bree17 Dec 2024
What if I really don't belong anywhere?

The feeling of always being out of place..



..it follows me.
found in a old note book, **** little me was depressed too, sometimes I forget just how long it's been this way.
lola Dec 2024
I am not living,
merely alive.
I lie in bed each day, waiting for my life to start.
As if I'm playing a game,
watching the loading screen,
yet never pressing play.
I am not playing,
merely watching,
as people complete tasks,
upgrade,
level up.
I watch and wait to press play.
What am I waiting for?
homeschooled on and off my whole life, i have one friend. i could make more. i could go to school. what is stopping me from starting my life?
Kian Nov 2024
I once walked the world  
                                           with open arms,  
my hands stretched w  i  d  e like branches.  

a canopy to shelter the lost.  
a refuge for the clumsy and blind.  

But the world pressed too hard,  

                      too often,  

and my leaves tore beneath its careless weight.  

So I became the thorn instead.  
Soft wood splintered,  
                         sap dried  
                                     to amber shields,  
and the shade I offered  
                                           withered.  

Now my arms are briars,  
worn close to my chest,  
                     curled into a hedge  
                                    the foolish do not cross.  

The world is full of stumbling fools,  
        drunken moths crashing into flames  
                      of their own kindling.  

They scorch themselves  
                                         on their own sparks,  
and still, they scream at the fire  
                                    as though it were cruel  
                                    for burning.  

I watch them now  
                       from a quiet distance,  
my roots deep, my bark hardened,  
knowing no vine will wrap around me  
                            without bleeding.  

It is not hatred that keeps me,  

                                              but weariness—  

the wisdom to know  
that the soft are devoured  
                               by the teeth of the indifferent.  

The world does not deserve my kindness.  
It spills its recklessness  
                                 like broken wine,  
drenching the soil in its waste,  
and waits for hands to clean it.  

But I have burned those hands  
                                       to ash and bone.  

Now I walk with thorns in my shadow,  
each step a warning,  
                      each word a needle  
                                         laced with restraint.  

Let the world tear itself apart.  
                       I am no longer here  
                                      to sew its seams.

    The world bites without thinking,
                                   and I will not be chewed.
Loke Houbo Nov 2024
My House is locked
My Windows blocked
The Lights are dimming
The Kettle begin screaming

Ness boiling in the darkness
I’m searching for Loc Ness
The Ness is ticking
The Ness growing erratic
The feeling of your isolated self with hidden away worries and insecurities.
Ceeba Nov 2024
I remember praying to you, and you did not answer.  
I was told God listened to His children,  
But you sure didn't listen to me.  
I was told to fast so my prayers could be answered quickly,  
I starved myself from food, fed only on prayer and faith for days,  
Hoping for some good but only ended in the hospital.  
You didn't answer.  

My clothes were drenched in tears,  
I felt myself dehydrated.  
I prayed from dusk till dawn,  
But still no answer.  

That pain I felt isn't there anymore.  
Not because things are finally looking up,  
It's because I'm losing faith.  
I feel numb to all the pain.  
You weren't there when I needed you the most.  

All those people lied to me when they said you come in times of need.  
They said if God doesn't answer,  
It's because He knows one can handle it.  
But here I am thinking that my definition of "handle" and His aren't the same.  
Unless, if wishing to die, isolation, and sh is His definition,  
Then I guess I'm handling everything perfectly.
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