60 sunshines, 59 nightfalls till I face the day
40 topics held in to regurgitate,
**** and span for the marker man to give a brother a break.

Wait, I ain't done
Got anxiety about two more chores in head
Not to ***** and moan but *******
Getting tired of this ****
What's the point to push if you don't know where to go
Blindful blissful ignorance?

They say, and you go.
What subject?
What ever is most respected.
What job?
What ever brings financial comfort.
What about this?
Nah, you ain't good at that.

And so you sulk ever so distracted
Hearing the drip drop taps, splat on to the sink.
The metallic ting of the radiator reverberates as dormant inner silence sings.
Forever more.
A didactic sore for the ears,
Apologies in advance,
Though regardless you must hear it.

Never run to please others
Rather, focus and listen to the deep.

Growing up in a loud and boisterous world,
makes it easy to seek solace in the
shadows
It allows for a fine-tuning of the senses,
in order to mirror what those around you
show

Quietly and dutifully, you play nursemaid
to everyone else's needs
Eventually losing touch with that inner voice that pleads

Remaining consistently neutral and in-tune
with others, has seemingly served
you well
Though the waves of ignored and
forgotten emotions, uncontrollably start
to swell

So becoming comfortable projecting a
voice, that you never really had
Is quite the challenging and daunting task
to an introverted empath

They only see the laughter
To them there are no trials
They never see the sadness
To them there are only smiles

Maybe it's my fault
That I don't let them see
Maybe I can't open up
That would make me too free

Why am I so scared
To show them who I am inside
Why do I even care
To them my heart is classified

I will try not to hide from them
I might even share my heart
I will not hide forever
I might just fall apart

On this day I shall be vibrate.
Shining bright and uncaring;
Not minding ones hateful words.

I shall be strong and independent.

I'll talk a little too loud,
And act slightly more proud.

I will be happy and pleased today.

Then tomorrow will come,
And that day will become today;
But on that day I shall be grime.

Unable to stand the slightest of sound,
Startled and afraid, sick of being drained.

I will not be able to handle the day,
And all the things that await,
So I shall stay in bed and cry my life away.

To concerned now of the hateful talk,
Unable but wishing to change everything;
Every single little detail of me.

This today, is to loud,
But now its all in my head;
Where the monsters await for my dread.

Today, will always change,
But I will still be here for the next.

I lay silently yet I am interrupted so abruptly
I act passively but I am tossed around aggressively
I go on haphazardly though I am shaken carelessly
I think lately... would it have been better if I were lonely?

There once was a painter
He painted so much
The painter didn't talk so much
He painted over words

There once was a painter
He talked so much
The painter didn't paint so much
He had finally died

plain dark yet I see thousand skyscrapers
emptiness filled with nothingness
and my pocket bleeds the word I spit
my eyes get drowned from its sweat
everyone is nowhere
and so are my emotions
like an old shell left because it's weak
heavy enough to be lifted up
silent, but not peaceful
wildfire slowly tearing down every walls
yet I hear happiness from the other side
it's far, but I know it is meant for me
they're happy when I'm alone
they're happy that I am alone

but it's fine
it is fine with me
it is fine with everyone who gets used to reality