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NeroameeAlucard May 2015
The Harshest Critic you could ever meet is yourself
when I have money I always don't have enough
if I'm lonely it's my fault I haven't lived enough to know lust from love
I always critique myself harshly because I know my potential is in the stars.

But maybe I'm too ******* myself,
well what would you want a soft man's mental health?! learn to hide your feelings and release them onto the page!
I did that brain, now the more I write sometimes the worse I feel and the less I heal.

but you need me to put this into perspective because you're opinion on what I do isn't subjective you're not aggressive enough you'll fall to the ground like Dust

SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYMORE! I TRY NOT TO OVERTHINK EVERYTHING BUT YOU ******* ME FASTER THAN A 20 DOLLAR WXORE!
NeroameeAlucard Apr 2015
Hello my name is Neroamee
Alucard if your nasty
and I'm a nerd,
I've gone through most of my life
socially awkward
Now you'd think at the age of 19
I would've gone out of my cocoon
and become a social butterfly
but I'm a walking Pariah
I'm not even close to fly
Just for liking manga and listening to music
that is older than me
I ended up ostracized
but I did gain friends
and we became like family.
So yes my Name is Neroamee
and yes I am awkward socially
I'll admit I'm sensitive, a nerd and don't fit into a culture homogenously
but I promise you this
you'll never encounter someone like me,
I guarantee you this
Aniseed Mar 2015
There's a thought that haunts me
In the mornings
When the sun peeks through the curtains
And it blinds me
And the coffee is burnt
So I take a morning dose of
Smoke to mute my taste buds

It haunts me at work
Where my smile is as fake
As the honey tone of my voice
But they'll believe it
And buy two for two fifty anyway
Because I've asked them oh so
Nicely

It plagues me in the evening
When I've settled down with a brush
In my hand
Painting abstract strokes with
No road map
No idea where they're going
Just a current of blending colors
And lines

It strikes me at night
When I'm closing my eyes
And willing myself to sleep
Though the sheep don't run home
Because the path is drenched
In regret

That thought
Which haunts me

And itches at me

And runs laps through my mind

Is that I've never felt peace
In someone's arms

Never felt so fulfilled
To touch someone

Never had words powerful
Enough to describe it

The thought that harrows me
In all the hours I know
Is that I've never known
Love
Megan Hoagland Mar 2015
Music pounding, I felt it in my bones
Bouncing around my ribcage;
The only place I've felt at home.
This intruder destroying the walls of my heart.
Debris falling like lead to the pit of my stomach.


The dizzying lights
And astounding heights.
Falling through space,
Seeing his face.

Music pounding, I felt it in my bones
Shaking around inside my skull
Voiding every thought, zeroed and null.
In a crowd of people, feeling alone.
Each breath of cool air, through every pore.

The dizzying lights
And astounding heights.
Falling through space,
Seeing his face.

Music pounding, I felt it in my bones.
And I wonder,
Where is my home?
As I slept, I wondered,
Where is my home?
Aniseed Mar 2015
Rocking, rocking
Back and forth like the conversation
Muttered between plumes of
Cigarette smoke.

"They owe me twenty three hundred,
The hotels and motels -
Eight in all."

He's said it about eight times.
Eight in all.

"And the surveillance systems
In the rooms.
The guy in the FBI lobby
Was talking. Said things.
Better have my money
'Cause it's messed up to
Take a man's money like that."

I nod, agree.
It's all I can do.

He's talked about some officer,
The white female down at
Cherry Street Mission.

He talks about the white male
And the black male
How they pass out cigarettes
And one's a mean *******
Who kicks people while they're
Trying to sleep.

I wonder who else has kicked him
While he's been down.

He's checking the clock again,
Doing the math -
Takes about an hour to walk
To get to the kitchens.
Good to get there early to
Get a bite to eat.

"'Cause man, they owe me
Twenty three hundred dollars
For the hotels and motels -
Eight in all."

Nine times, now.

"You get what I'm saying, though?
Isn't it messed up?"

Isn't everything?

Let him *** another smoke,
He's down on his luck
Though the FBI's got nothing
To do with it.

I've seen glimpses of coherency
Here and there.
Mentioned a brother who
Couldn't give a ****.
Mentioned working in a
Restaurant once.

But all the while he's rocking
And losing himself again in
His head and the imaginations
Of ****** plots and FBI contracts.

I wonder what his last name is.
I wonder if he remembers what
His last name is.

"And the guy in the FBI lobby
Said they'd scrap up an extra grand
For the trouble.
Just takes time.
Don't you think that's messed up, though?
Don't you think that's ****** up?"

*Do I ever.
His name is Richard and despite everything, he's very nice.
B Feb 2015
No you idiot!
This is how people fall in love.
Are you a *******?!
Do you like getting hurt ot something??

Dont open up to her.
You know she is the type.
She will stomp on your heart.
You can't take it anymore.
You will die this time.

Stop what you're doing.
Move on.
End It.
*Please dont **** us!
The idea of this one is pretty straightforward. The mind is pleading to the heart.
NeroameeAlucard Jan 2015
Sometimes I sit back
on my bed with an RHCP track
playing blocking out the world
then the voices kick in
"Why aren't you looking for someone?"
"Do you want to be alone forever or do you think that's a wise endeavor?"
I respond back that my confidence is gone out behind the shack stabbed in the back with a macabre machete the size of a horses ***.
that every time I get comfortable with someone now I flinch, waiting for my heart to get stomped out or chipped away
that's why I said for the time being alone I'll stay.

My head and my heart seem out of sync I think it's clear that I'm trying to focus on myself and trying to accumulate both mental and financial wealth and improving my physical health but my heart sees none of this it just wants to be cuddled and mollified and it's mortifying to me to fight this internal war constantly because I want to be free from my feelings and my past because every time I say they're gone they keep roaring back
B Dec 2014
The rain pouring heavily unto you.
There are no shelters.
It's just you and where you need to go.

But on the way you will find that the rain will stop
eventually...
What is a child of JAH
without his sacred herb?

How dis man still a bald head
but he got so much hair?
faaaaaaaaam
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