How many times can a girl
Fake her way through self love
Until she ways with the breeze,
Carrying her image as if a lover - kissing?

every now and then i think about myself
about who i should become, do i need help?
every night i feel like i should start again
but each day feels like it would never end
when everything else falls apart
i'll just retreat inside my heart
and push you all away
one day, i'll be okay
i'll be okay

Entranced within the enveloping dark,
I'm stuck alone with intangible thoughts,
Those that dwell in the mind constantly,
Ruled by the tyranny of doubt, and anxiety,
They rattle my mind, bouncing to and fro,
Reminding me that I'm desperately alone,
And they'll be my only solace.

There's a true terror, in your greatest enemy,
Being that which guides your every motion,
It seems like just as much as the mind is on your side,
It's waiting for the perfect moment to remind you,
Just why you're so insignificant.

Every action that you think correct,
Reflected back as a horrible misstep,
Or an embarrassing display of stupidity,
Another failure so plainly in view,
How can one succeed under such a critic?

Walking through the store,
Surrounded by racks of other lived world's,
Given to be shared with someone else,
My hands brushing across jackets and shoes,
Feeling where someone tripped,
Or where a moth found it's way.

My thoughts meander to my own world,
The scuffs decorating my shoes,
The fraying strings of this jacket,
The torn pocket of these jeans,
All part of me here, and wondering,
Just how much you'd see of me in them.

I'm passing the time all the while,
My search idling between,
The articles of lives, and the ones moving around me,
Waiting for the certain one that led me here,
Leaving me to fend alone for just a moment,
A slight grin my only clue to run on.

Wandering back down, my mind was a flutter,
Before me, radiant and glowing,
The magnificence of your presence
Breathing a whole new meaning,
To a prismatic dress,
And a perfect black jacket,
Captured so brilliantly,
In my enamored mind.

golden tree
caramelized leaves
burnt, but still smells sweet
so sweet that my cavities tingle
your stubborn roots make it hard for you to mingle
no estás pensando claramente, tu corazón es en la mesa
despeje tu mente en tu biblioteca
you are made of sacred geometry
there's quartz in your veins
you sniff sage when you are sad,
burn palo santo when it rains
you can never forget that
manifest it yourself
you don't need this physical reality;
it makes you feel like someone else
channel all that good energy that you create with material things
meditate and reflect
that is your medicine

feb.14.19

Licking paper as if I’ve never done
Taking a walk beneath the calming sun
This stroll to make time pass by
Until we feel the begin of sibylline high

Snickering and trees is all we can do
The bench moved, did you see that too?
No wind, yet dirt is skipping along
This new universe is forever where I belong

Twinkles and jumbles of words catch my eye
Bright colors and auras, so much stimuli
Warning, don't dare look at your reflection
Little paper, so useful for the amazing introspection.