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Jun 2020
i only find myself weakly present now
letting the past go but finding it only relevant
as i find myself weaker and in need of strength.
but in the past i was not strong
i was weak and found my courage in darkness
and in light i misplaced it again and again
though the future feels bleak and empty
pointing to my true fate's north bearing
the same fearless demeanor i felt
as i believed i died,
and i believed i lived,
and found myself between.
though curiously,
amidst cloudy thoughts and dreams,
the mist keeps me anxious
of seeing what will be
and every time i choose my step in
and every time i don't give in
the inch that takes me further
leaves me stronger than i ever was.
so please sit with me
o speaker of my thoughts
have tea and honey and leaves
enjoy your break and scenery
because another inch from here
the cloudy mist of confusion and fear
will be back to guide me astray
i just hope not like yesterday.
the first line went through my head just before bed for some reason

so i opened a word processor and wrote more, so i could keep myself from thinking too much when i tried to go to sleep after

considering my normal writing is very structured and more academic or narrative, i enjoy just putting words down and seeing what happens when i don't overthink the intention too much

i've thought more about these notes, in fact, though in large i shouldn't explain anything, especially not to myself

thanks for letting me join, i want a place to feel motivated to do this more that isn't deviantart or a personal website
Rachel Armstrong
Written by
Rachel Armstrong  27/Neither
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