Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Marya0324 Oct 2021
I'd hide myself beneath a thousand walls
I'd suffocate, to satisfy the audience
With dying breath, through countless curtain calls
But this is life, it has to be, this penance
Paid for past sins, cancelled shows from long ago
I wear them like armour, the scars deep inside
I fear the wounds to come, the unforeseen blow
Unravelled secrets, truths no longer denied
It doesn't matter, the blood on the floor,
It doesn't matter that I've nothing to say,
For a second on stage, I'm the one they adore,
A moment of heaven in the hell of each day.
If I could become something else, forever
Unblemished, unfeeling, without any flaws
The perfect artiste in every endeavour
Perhaps I'll finally deserve the applause.
Sabika Sep 2021
Pleasure,
Is it a god?
Pain,
Is it the devil?

Given the wrong circumstances,
They can both be evil.
Then what is it I rely on
To help me differentiate between right and wrong?

Time,
Is it eternal?
Health,
Is it reliable?
And when things don't go to plan,
Are my consequences inevitable?
Then what is it I can count on
That's been unchangeable all along?

Will,
Is it sturdy?
Relationships,
Will they keep swaying me?

And when pain,
Pleasure, time and health test me,
What is it I can rely on to keep me steady?

Why,
I feel like a kite on a single string,
The string is a hand stretching out from a deep sea,
The hand is a lever with the note:
"Pull me!"
And I hold on and it may be fine,
But relationships,
Will, health, time, pain and pleasure
Eventually rot and turn bitter
And they let me go
And I am reminded of how
Lost I truly am...
In this vast ocean...
In this wide space...
I am reminded that in this world,
Nowhere in my mind is safe;
I used to ridicule that which I cannot see or feel,
But there was nothing of this world that was real.
All of my idols
Left me,
Scathed.
And all that’s left to
Hold on to
Are the ideals of hope
And faith.
grace snoddy Sep 2021
beautiful blue
the sky seems everlasting above me
the clouds desperately reach for each other
like they may never meet again
like they may never feel love again

i sympathize with them
the longing for love
the yearning of partnership
my perception of what that is
forever twisted by this shadow
casted upon my life

why cant i be happy?
why do the people who
are supposed to love me
despise me?
i am reduced to bones by their deductions
i am nothing but a shell of their projections
ive been persecuted to this living hell
with their reprehensions

i look to the eternal sky
standing on the edge
nobody knows what resides in my head
maybe its better that way
my thoughts need not be said
a choice between two paths
to be alive or to be dead
written on may 18th, 2021
ZR Simon Sep 2021
There's a light on in my mind
If you look closely you'll find
The light's merely a glimmer--
A fragment lost in time.
It flickers in and out--
a futile manifestation of doubt,
my mind, the bygone and broken--
A vessel left unmoored,
endlessly wandering through memories
obliterated by time.
The lighthouse of my mind
Darkened now--no ships to find
just lost souls and memories--
fractured pieces left behind,
eternally echoing in the night.

There is no light.
I S A A C Sep 2021
kiss my Adam's apple

then make your way to my pearled necklace

Adorn me with your love like a prince in a castle

Be rough with me, a little reckless

time is only a concept forged by men

who says we ever have to leave this bed again

I am shaken, riddled with desires

I am taken, aback by your torrid fires

blistering heat, unimaginable peak

you are so sweet like freshly picked strawberries

it's your physique and mystique

you read me like libraries
the dead bird Sep 2021
What am I supposed to do with all
Of this
Unhinged
Passion —
Okay, calling it passion is a stretch.
It’s boiling ******* anger
For my own existence.

What am I to do?
Share it? With whom?
Who might appreciate?
Even if they do,
I’d probably be dissatisfied
About something.
I’m sure of it.

Why am I so
Existentially dissatisfied?
At what point will I think
Anything is enough,
Or worthy of my
Approval?

Does it need to destroy me in order for me to respect it?

I’m making myself sound like a *****.
Really, I am
But a self aware one.
Like, I realize that I’m a pretentious *******
And I hate myself for it,
So that you don’t have to.

Why do I long for attention,
When I am so
Disgusted
By it

Just pathetic,
It’s like I think
the window which I’m looking out of
Makes me better
Than those who have a different view.

Sometimes I wish I was stupid so that I wouldn’t think I was better than other people.
Or at least stupid enough
To ignore my own hypocrisy.
Why the ****
does it always come back to
That story about
The flowers for that dead ******* rat

Is it too late to get a lobotomy?
I hate myself for hating myself for hating other people. Also yes I did really want to be a nihilist when I first studied Camus & the three schools ****. I settled on exestential nihilism for awhile. now, me and the Absurd sit and smoke blunts together and laugh at my pathetic existence
I S A A C Aug 2021
money, fame, glory
Childhood was so rough the only option was to come up with a story
Adulthood came early and taught me to be discerning
But in a world full of colour hues its easy to pick the shivering blue
Fell into a whirlpool, a black hole so dark my memory vanished
But these lessons I learned taught me to survive in famish
So I worked for the juxtaposition because I deserve lavish
So stunning and blessed I came to be
Never let that light die in me
I knew I would make it with the right opportunities
So I learned how to be hardworking and ambiguities
A humbling story and sometimes sad
But I am grateful and cherish moments I will always have
But I moved on, looking good, getting back
Everything they took from me I used to have
Gorba Aug 2021
Organelles, cells, tissues, organs shape my body
My soul, my brain, my heart, my identity
A living mass and a concept ineluctably associated
Without necessarily working adequately together
To build something close to a character
That is, by some, tolerated, by a few, appreciated
Never reaching any sort of unanimity
Leaving the volume of possible interpretations as plenty

Context strictly guides aspects of my behavior
Adding an extra ‘s’ to my idiosyncrasy that primarily seems out of place
When being singular is often what wins the race
Launched by our most ancient ancestor

Am I one or plural?
Do I have one personality or several?
Am I what I think or what I do?
What others see or what I expose?
An ignorant mind with a decent prose
Or a curious man who has no clue?

Asking a question is to get closer to an answer
That might emerge in a distant future
In the meantime, I try to be and do good
To put my loved ones in the best possible mood
Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail
But my stubborn intention will always prevail
Taylor St Onge Jun 2021
It's the pilot light in the stove,
                                    the fireplace.  It’s the
night light in the bathroom,
                        the living room.  The
reflection in the mirror,
                  in the glass of my windshield.  The
      hum of electricity,
the sigh of the furnace.  

What do you mean I’m supposed to go looking for something that is constant?

The conjoined twin does not go looking for its sibling.
                 The brain does not search for the heart.  
The shadow always finds the body.  Gravity invariably
                                                    pulls the moon into orbit.  

The smoldering ache of loss
                  —hot like bubbling magma, bright like a solar flare—
                                                   is always there.  
Lurking beneath the skin.  The face behind the mask.  
                 Gnarled roots beneath the forest.

What do you mean I’m supposed to look for something that is a part of me?
Assimilated to my sense of normalcy.  Integrated into my DNA.
I can only do so much introspection before I go insane.
write your grief prompt #12: What would it take to seek out the smoldering ache of loss?
himangshu Jun 2021
in all the delusions and
all the illusions
lies the unknown.
Next page