you didn't fall in love with me
you fell in love with me because i happened to be the only one there

why do i fall in love with people for the simplest little things?
like the way they say certain words
or that little smirk they do when they get nervous
maybe it's because it reminds me of something from my past
or someone
lately i've been trying not to think about things so hard
one night stands
the looks people give me at the mall
you
you
you.

****

Thoughts of you keep flooding in
My heart has become home to a flash flood
I never fell so quickly for someone before
But you flow through me like water
Making me love the taking of the tides
When I used to feel like a piece of me was taken away
But now
I'm drowning deeper and deeper
In love
with you

You were just a voice at first,
a melody I had never heard
that graced my ears.
I knew your name,
I knew your voice,
and I knew your laugh.
What I didn't know
was your face.
I had never met your tall frame.
I had never met your piercing blue eyes.
I had never met the vibrant light you brought to a room.
But once I did,
my whole world felt different.
Sure,
Luke was still in my heart,
But you,
you clouded my head.
I severed as many ties with him as I could,
not knowing it would lead me to you.
Prom was an idea to spite him.
The thought of taking his best friend to something so special,
it filled me with excitement.
But it was weeks later
when I realized,
it wasn't to spite him.
It was to spend time with you.
That's why I had my party;
invited you and the boys over,
so I could have you around me.
So I could make you smile.
Make you laugh.
That's all I want to do,
make you happy.
I wouldn't say I'm in love,
just
intrigued.

i spend more nights
dreaming of us being
joined together in
holy matrimony more
than i spend sleeping
in white noise

If a poet falls in love with you,
Don't take it for granted;
*They don't write poetry
For just anyone, you know.

His words are slow as
he tries to command
them into coherentness,
they're still slurred.

The lines are blurred,
like wet ink running
down on paper he's
messy messy messy

He says he loves me
the words come out
tangled but enthusiastic
there's no pain in them.

He says it again,
his heart must feel unguarded,
he must feel comfortable
to say it again without pause.

"Are you drunk?"  
yes, I'm very intoxicated.
That's to be expected this
**** ain't complicated.

Do I take advantage of
his drunkenness and
ask him to continue
saying  he loves me?

Or do I wait until he's dry,  
tell him I love him, expect
silence as my reply, and another
piece of my heart broken?

Because when he eventually
says it back, his voice will crack.
And I'll feel Guilty for
wanting to be loved like that.

It's not his fault, I'll say,
Everybody can't say it back.
Be patient, I'll remind myself.
I'll remind myself, I'll remind, remind

He only loves me when
he's inebriated. He's drunk
in love with me, how the hell
did this **** happen?

As I listen to him snore over
the phone, I know I'm in his
dreams. And maybe he's sober
when he says he loves me.

Everyone is exciting at first.  New attention.  New flirting. Love is what comes after the excitement.  After the giddiness and nervousness.  The hurt.  The overflow of unexplained emotions constantly pouring out.  And being in love is what makes you stay.  Being in love is the voice you hear in the back of your head, during an argument, telling you to calm down.  Be more empathetic, listen.  Being in love is knowing there will be storms, but knowing your love will remain safe.  It's whispering, "I love you" in your sleep.  It's finding comfort in another person and feeling safe with them.  The invincibility.  That's a word I always used to describe us.  We thought we would last forever and now I'm left here begging you to let me come over.  Being in love is wondering how your exams go.  It's pushing you to study instead of binge watching netflix.  Love is easy.  Being in love is what's hard.  You can love 1000 people throughout your life, all for different reasons.  But being in love, having a person that feels like home, that is rare.  You don't wake up and decide you are in love.  You decide you're in love when you first see their flaws.  Their emotional baggage.  And you choose to stay.  It is always seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  It's praying, no, pleading to someone you hope is real in hopes that they can bring the other person back.  Being in love takes patience. Forgiveness.  Selflessness.  It's wanting the last piece of pizza, but offering it to them because you know they haven't ate today.  It's making memories on a silly car ride. It's being strong for the other person because they need you.  In time, you will need them to do this for you.  It's finding other people attractive and leaving it at that.  There are no desires to pursue anything.  Being in love is all about being yourself, unapologetically, and being loved for all the things you are.  It's about loving a person for who they are and not what they are not.  Being in love is knowing you can live without this person, but wondering you would ever want or need to.  And darling, if you couldn't tell, I am madly in love with you