You’re so desperate for love that you latch onto the first person that shows you any kind of affection.
That is not called love, darling.
It is infatuation.
You sit in a web of lies, treating a person like they’re someone you despise.
You are not in love,
You are drowning in infatuation.
You are so obsessed with the idea of a person when you don’t even know who that person truly is;
And I may not know a lot about love but I know enough to know that that is not love.
So pour yourself another shot of ***** and complain about how no one loves you.
No one will love you because you won’t give them a chance.
Your idea of love is so warped, you do not own a person because you love them,
And they aren’t required to make you their world.
That is why you are in love with the idea of love;
And you are doomed to be in a relationship with infatuation.
You cannot accept your flaws,
To be honest, you probably never will.
You will live in a world being lonely,
As you cry, saying, “I just want someone to hold me.”
All the drugs in the world won’t take away your pain.
So, keep throwing your chances with someone down the drain.
Because you do not want a person to love you.
You want the idea of a person loving you.
But that isn’t what love is about.
You want all of the good times.
You can’t handle the bad.
You only want someone who only gives you attention,
The attention you didn’t get from your deadbeat dad.
So go home and be sad.
Manifest this life you wish you had.
But you won’t allow anyone to truly love you.
Because all you care about is infatuation.

She always had a knack
for catching me off guard.
To expect the unexpected.
My heart a doorbell-
Expectation the mat she stood.
Sometimes she'd wait patiently.
Other times she'd constantly press the button.
A sudden nudge of emotion,
The appeal of urgency
Knowing that not many will wait.
Her smile sent special delivery,
Opened on arrival.
She never came when I expected.
Often checking before she rang.
My lips sealed
In suspense of waiting.
Better late than never.
My heart rung last minute.
Pressed again and again.
Again and again.-
Indulged that she came
My lips sealed at the nook of hers.
My heart a doorbell-
Pressed in anticipation.
Met quickly in arrival.
Her finger against my heart a courtesy
The whole time the door unlocked
Waiting for her return

when everything comes too quickly
gravity becomes overwhelming
it's infuriating

the beginning starts with an ending
creating stars covered by clouds
when dawn breaks with a shroud

contradictions only leads to doubt
what's needed now is a distraction
but so far my only distraction

is you

She took me sight seeing
The city of her heart-
My hand clinched tight in hers.
A celebration of eyes held tight.
Our smiles bright,
Navigating the twist & turns of the street.
Champagne & beige buildings.
The wind snapping between our faces.
It was beautiful
Seeing colors and shapes this way.
A moment filled with pedestrian eyes.
Our steps the very throb of the city.
Of all the streets
There was one rough patch.
Of all the buildings, all the pretty lights.
This one rough patch in the center of the street was my favorite.
Though she hated it.
It was my favorite part.
To be honest I don't know what or why I was drawn to it.
To me it just felt real.
Night or day
It reminded me of home

You visit often
A storm visible in the distance.
Your presence made,
Striking my heart.
Finding me where I go.
Your trial easily found.
Stirring anticipation.
My fear,
My inspiration lit across the sky.
Bringing out the best in me.
The shadows lit by your presence.
Thunder echoes.
Scattered a million and one times
Filling the gaps of silence.
The gaps where my voice aches & you are nowhere to be found.
The gaps where my heart throbs & yours begins.
I am in love enjoying the storm.
You come closer
My ache no longer visible.
The leaves shutter
Blown away by your kiss.
Passionate yet deep.
You strike.
Finding me in the crackle of thought.
The best of me flashing across the sky
Piercing my heart without warning.
Without cease
The way you love.
The way you seek & I find.
Struck by the lightning that is you

Your kisses electrified all the dying pieces I had within.

Your touch magnified all the scars in my heart.

Your laughs resonated through my soul.

Your tears rippled through my skin.

Every part of you are puzzle pieces that I've been finding for so long.

Those glasses try their best,  
but they can't hide.
Shining on surface
And brimming with life.
A deep, dark ocean
And an untold story.
An act in front of the world
But inside a mystery.


I'm neither a sailor nor a seeker
But
Why is that darkness so appealing,
Ocean so attracting.
A key is missing, a key is missing,
Otherwise why is that beautiful heart
Not properly thumping.

From the distance
I felt a kiss from you.
Brown lips dressed in strawberry glaze.
Butterscotch peaks,
Marshmallow swirls.
My day made bright in such taste.
Suddenly you don't seem far
Pretty lights and dark shadows fade.
Lips,
Happy and full approach.
Suddenly I am alone with you.
My lips rush to tell
How much I've missed you.
******* in absolute happiness
The gap narrowing
My lips pressed against yours