I dream of yesterdays gone

Where laughter is heard and love everywhere

Letting me wander half-memories in a happy haze

Dry eyes
Warm cheeks

And in an instant it vanishes

Still smiling
Wake to cruel reality

And onto everything fading brain clutches uselessly

As if pursuing Eldorado or some other impossible treasure

I knew when I saw you it would be like time hadn't moved
After a few moments we got back into our usual groove
And the scent of you lingered for the seconds I hugged you
I felt happy to be there and maybe you knew

I playfully motioned for you to hold my hand so you did
You probably didn't notice the smile I hid
The tv flickered with a game in the background or music
All while we leaned closer and in an instant felt lucid

We embraced again before the night was done
You walked me out and said you had fun
One more hug this time with a tighter squeeze
In a way it felt infinite and like time could just freeze
I nestled my face in your neck and you did the same
I'm sure you felt my heart race and still you stayed tame
I slowly let go of our entangled goodbyes
Then did my best to avoid your eyes

How long had it been since I felt those butterflies within
With him, it was truly a romance to get lost in

I have yet to meet somebody I can spend right now with
If no one even wants me for a moment
How am I supposed to meet someone I can love for the rest of my life?
And more importantly
How am I going to find someone who wants to spend eternity loving me?

The air gave us away,
Thin and frigid.
Motionless,
We sat,
Silent.
Behind our eyes,
The chaos,
Watered
Down,
Made seeing
Each other, impossible.

it's catastrophic
when it blooms.
and when it rains,
i'm in a sisyphean loop.

no one seemed to believe,
even the impossibilities.
i refuse and i denied,
creating a new gravel path.