There is nothing I can do
Because I’m not the star of my own story
I’m not exactly furniture either
I’m more the person they send to walk in the background of movie scenes
So it isn’t painfully clear they’ve blocked off the street
But all I do is walk
I’m not important
And there is nothing I can do

Dear hope,
Sometimes I lay on the bed and I swear you give me the softest pillows, the warmest blankets, the most beautiful sleep.
I wake up some mornings and you’re the only thing that gets me out of bed, and sure I get mad when I burn my toast but, you give me half a loaf and say ‘hey, try again’
Some days I will grip your hand like a vulnerable child clings to his mother while they cross the road.
I will let you mother me when my mother is in hospital, I will let you father me because my father never showed me protection.
Some days I will let you whisper stories of how things will be into my ear like chocolate cascading down a waterfall in a shop I can’t afford to step in.
But lately being with you is like walking through a graveyard after the caretaker has gone home and the last leaf of autumn has fallen to wither and die.
These ghosts are following me, settling in the coffin that is my stomach. They leave their words on my lips for me to lick when I am starving.
I have a new friend now, He’s called lonely, he’s an ******* but he won’t disappoint me and it’s always cold where he takes me.
I need some consistency, with you Hope, you leave me empty, like I’ve already died but there’s a 60 year wait for a spot in the cemetery.

Life is the most stubborn unrequited lover

How melancholy it is to love something so unconditionally but to
wish she would love you back and
give you another reason to love her

Instead, Life fights my love and
makes me want to give up -
on myself

When a girl loses her hope,
She becomes the most dangerous creature.
Fairytales and happy endings
Have lost their appeal.
'Mr Right' has been buried along with
All the other prince charming's from her childhood story books.
She visits him only in her dreams.
Boys with smooth tongues and gripping fingers trail after her.
Her bright smile and piercing glare
Spell the words: "enter if you dare"
She will laugh at all your jokes and burn your skin with her touch.
And her hands, oh they're so soft and gentle,
You don't even notice your arm is on fire.
Cheap compliments spill out of your mouth one after the other
And when she does not say thank you,
But instead chuckles to herself
You cannot help how enticed you are.
Every word she utters is
Daring you to come closer.
You see the way she's looking at you,
With those cumbersome doe-eyes
And you think you know what
She wants  
And you think you have what
She needs
And you could not be more wrong.
She knows exactly the right witty remark to make, how to bat her lashes just right and how to laugh with just the right combination of coquettish and cute.
Stupid boys always like to think they can save girls who in their minds are 'too adorable for their own good'. Stupid boys are always trying to make themselves gentlemen by simplifying a girl to being 'pretty'.
The hopeful little darlings will swallow all of these unsavoury sentiments and store them in their naïve little hearts.
But not this girl.
Beware of the girl with no hope left.
To her, this is a game that she cannot lose anymore.
To her, you are nothing but a pawn;
Replaceable
Invaluable
She is a luxuriant forest
drenched in gasoline
A beautiful disaster waiting to happen.
She is so deceiving, so alluring,
You simply must have a taste
And you may.
But take warning:
She will light up in flames,
devour your little boy soul
and burn both of your bodies
to the ******* ground.

i see poems in my dreams
but i can't write them.

i'm haunted by demons in my head
but i can't fight them.

i've done wrongs in my past
but i can't right them.

so many dark paths to wander down
but i can't light them.

so many bright futures ahead
but i can't sight them.

"What?
What are these streaming down my cheeks?
Are... are these tears?"

Yes, today, I cried for the first time
The first time in years
I felt grief gnawing on my stomach
I felt hopelessness tighten my throat
My heart was ripped apart
I couldn't breathe

But why?
Why now?

I was pushed over the edge
As if all of my hidden demons
Suddenly wanted to come out and play
They heard my sighs being silenced
They knew my screams were hushed
They were the only ones to hear my cries for
Help.

is it never
ends... The
wounds
may scar
atop but
the pain
underneath
remains
what those
that we think are healed do's
learn to live with that pain