tw// language. self hate.

do something, do something, do something
*******, waste of space
what are you even doing with your life?

please please just get up
i'll leave you alone if you do something
anything

brush your teeth, please, you smell like death

do something, do something, do something
******* just get up

fourteen missing assignments, and that's just one class
you dumb ******* i hate you

get up
you're the reason for every bad thing that has ever happened

y'know what?
don't do anything
sit there
you're gonna mess up anything you try anyway

are you going to cry now?
of course not. that's doing something.

don't go to sleep

your lungs could collapse right now
you could die
no one promised you forever
you only get a now
and you're spending it on your twin sized bed
might as well be in a coffin
you ******* waste of decomposable matter

do something, do something, do something

you changed all that was
we built here now together
and this is just love

The next time we meet again will probably awkward as frick
Like if Jupiter and Uranus collided
In which they'd probably pass by each other because they're gas giants
(Or fuse into one big gas giant planet, but I'm too tired to explain)
And being in one room we'd might as well
Be two unmoving pieces of stone each waiting
For the other to make a move
After all the years without touch
(Cause a pandemic had to happen)
I guess we'd be stiff like that.

I mean, can't you see the stiffness in the way my hands
Wave at you wishing yours could just come through
The pesky screens holding us back
Just wishing they could make a crack at all the ice
My hands have been gathering throughout these years?

Cause it seems holding you will take ages
And I'm now left to read hundreds of pages of young adult couples
Huddling beside bonfires
Making it look so easy to move closer and closer
While realistically, we're stuck here miles and miles apart
Only huddling beside this hurt we call distance

By the gods, I pray to be a gas giant so I can permeate
Through all these physical walls
And give you the one long hug I've been saving since fall
Cause I badly need the body warmth right now.
Do I sound too hypothermic? I hope not.


...


But anyway, still and awkward hugs will do
I've noticed it's a bit cold here --
Is it cold there too?

I know you might've grown accustomed to it, you might even like it, but for just one night
Let me imagine what it's like
To warm you.

it's obvious,
isn't it?

it certainly
seems
like it

you see
it too,
right?

maybe
i'm imagining it?

it's probably
nothing

but

your head
is upside
down

facing inward
and
laughing at
itself

and there's
a light in
there

that's always
on

just
thought
you should know