I have my doubts,
Dreamin’, always
In the clouds.

But dreams aren’t
Reality, and already

It feels I’m lost in
The shadows.

I only wanted
To be part of
Something,

I only wanted
Everything and
In-between.

But life is about
Battles we pick
And choose,

And already,
I feel I’m going
To lose.

Doubt in self,
Everything and
Everyone else.

Already pulling
Me under, right
Beneath my skin,

My heart is bleeding,
For all the wrong
Reasons.

People come in
My life for a reason,

Some last a lifetime,
Some leave before

The change of the
Seasons.

But doubt persists,
And already I know
How this will end.

I still have my doubts,
Always dreamin’,
Always in the clouds,

I'm always
Running for cover

And riding the storm
Before the rain

Enshrouds me
In the darkness

Before I have a
Chance to recover.

pulling on my heartstrings
grip is so tight
a broken little thing
knuckles turning white
a taunting smile waits
its tug is so strong
it is the bait,
the siren's careful song
my heart takes flight
the harsh alarm sings
nothing feels right
my twisted heartstrings

They once said that "a piece of cake, is a slice at the beginning your life"...
But is that even true...at the very most end of the spectrum, from which your heart beckons too the very mind that surpluses the very objects (from which is can't find itself in the mess of truthful results), that begin to truly shame the result of even trying to piece things together, time after time...?
NO!
Which are exactly why things don't need to be remembered from right off the bat.
That's because a piece of cake is the truthfully defining reach from which we can't solve the very most bottom remedy from straight out from under our very heartstrings. Heartstrings in the very form of how our very life began. When you were too busy fighting objections too win over your very mind's eye (at the very center of opportunity itself)!
Basically, the very end results, begin with a single fraction of those very "to-do" list heartstrings...that don't truly account for the most interesting of logical finds. Simply put, it literally calls forth (the very claim of one's own arrival) at the very hands of remembering what it was truly like too live again!
Except, when you tasted the very cake that belonged deep in your own heart.
And a heart that is truly beginning anew, again. But with a twist, you see....
Nothing is really the same, after from which you taste this newly found piece of cake, that slices off one end of its own self...and disregards the rest, after the final aftertaste had reclaimed it's own glory.
This is mostly because you think you feel what the mind's eye REJECTS the claim like a chronic storm of results for the such displeasurable spectrum.
Now you know when you slice a piece of cake at the very end of one's own life, and take that slice at the very beginning newly found account...for it is a truly newer start at the very beginning of something entirely new.

I used to think that
there were these little bones in my heart, and
when they got broken, the doctors would put
a bright pink cast on my heart.

But it doesn't work like that.

You can't put a cast on your heart, and even if you could,
there isn't a cast big enough to hold every single piece
my heart has broken into.
There isn't a glue strong enough to put it back
together, and keep you from breaking
it, yet again.

I had an elderly lady look on me and say "one day you're going to be a little heart-breaker to a bunch of boys."
And I'm sure I was before now.

So next time you adorn yourself with such a label as,
"Heart-breaker," perhaps you should imagine
what it would be like when someone breaks your heart.

The most exquisite truth of all is this:
I may be broken.
I am not
d e s t r o y e d.

This day
Torturing me so
Never letting me go.

Not long ago
Out worlds collided
Someway, somehow,
Trying so hard to catch the drift.

Barely speaking
Playing your emotions
A beauty, enticing me,
Framed with something unseen.

I do not wish to be afraid
Yet I do fear
For I hope to hear
Those sweet words
From your lips.

Day after day
You see me
But talk so little..

Am I the reason,
Or am I simply
Getting it all wrong?

So gentle
That soul of yours
Trying to hold yourself together
But just know
Even if your eyes don't see this truth
That I would rush to your aid
And hold you.

What is it
In your head
That just makes you so fascinating?
The way you mumble
The way you fumble
Strumming the minutes away
Like they are all you have.

I did not mean to feel this
No
But here I am
Falling for you
More and more each minute.

Worlds apart
Yet only a foot away
Daring me to come closer...

Daring me to ask the question...

- Jay M
April 10th, 2019

Understanding the stars to your galaxies
Made of past and future complexities
Is the path we took made of possibility
Which ended in us walking separately

Though we're broken and bruised feeling further apart
With moments that'll never silence my heart
I still look for you in the ocean of people
But I know it's your stars that'll only show

Though I won't forget the tune you played
When you tugged at my heartstrings
You brought the music back with memories we made
When you tugged at my heartstrings

Seeing shimmers of blue starting back at you
A reflection I will never unsee
With feilds of gold glowing in the dark
I hope they'll remind you of me

Building moments created by the smallest of things

words replayed
(re)minded me of pain.
I’m just a game to be played.