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Betthia Mae Feb 17
how do I

empty something
never filled.

throw out something
never there.

lose grip on something
never held.

move on from something
I was never in.
Betthia Mae Feb 17
my bouncy house
filled with
empty words

the party ended
& I deflated.

words felt like a fever dream,
hallucinated on make believe
& I believed.

words shifted like the sands,
moved where the wind casted
& I was casted out.

words mined my heart,
excavated what good was left
& I was left to be forgotten.
& we move on like we aren’t stuck on words that once held so much meaning.
Betthia Mae Feb 17
words replayed
(re)minded me of pain.
I’m just a game to be played.
  Feb 17 Betthia Mae
Sofia Paderes
Maybe I would have
been able to keep you
if you had been a lake.
Waters whisked by wind,
softly stirred in its sleeping
faint scent of flowers following
wafting, over my head, hovering.
Nothing to resurface. Your skin,
salt-and-pepper hair, veins
peeping from your wrists, squeaking
yellow rubber slippers, small mouth
taking sips of turmeric tea, all that I
remember, embraced by the waters.
For always.

But your heart has always been the sea.
So there's nothing I can do to stop how you
are more saltwater than I'd like, or how your
comings and goings are more waves than streams.

Still, I'd rather have you
crash over me sometimes than never,
swallowing me whole.
Stinging my sight.
Leaving my lungs
gasping for air,
just as long as you don't
drift too far for my feet to follow.
Prompt: Kakalimutan na kita. (I will forget you). I wish my memory allowed me to keep every sense as alive as the days you still were. Lola, I wish I could miss you like I did before.
Betthia Mae Aug 2019
u r
****** in my veins
the smell occupied in my nose
u r not
something I can easily let go
Betthia Mae Aug 2019
I’m sinking
your sand washed up
on my veins

blended with my blood
we’re thicker than honey
but you never tasted sweet

never cared about my ocean
polluted by your sand
you consciously scattered
with your hands
It happens
Betthia Mae Aug 2019
There she is
Hidden behind the veins

She got lost
Searching but she forgot

Who was she doing this for?
A blood clot

Clot of mistakes
Clot of dates
All because she thought this clot was fate

Boy was she wrong
She bled out and drowned

All except her heart
That one was stayed shut with a clot
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