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Betthia Mae Jul 2020
cry to be heard.
shout to be silent.
hey mom i miss u.
Betthia Mae Apr 2020
I never thought
the words you’d say
would be someone else’s

your smiles, lies
open ended promises,
love turned disguises,
heartache and prizes.

last words said too late.
new ones said so early.

i’m beginning to think
your love for me was
just you in a hurry—

destination: her.
me, nothing but her seat warmer.
i’ve come to the realization that someone I held so special in my heart did not hold me with that same weight. it’s only been a month but he’s quickly moved on while I sit and watch and wished that it was me in the pictures, with him. ain’t love cruel.
Betthia Mae Apr 2020
my blood
consists of notes and tones
lyrics and bones
crushed up metals and nodes

my blood circulates,
in and out of my headphones.
looses control with a let go.
“let go” the song yells, “let go”.

i know what i have to do
but let me just
hold on—
to stories that play out.
tip toe on the lyrics.
dance to the bass.
drown in the synth.
clash to the symbols.
trap myself within the strings.

my blood plays red.
the songs circulate blood to my head.
I hold on to memories that need to be let go. I trap them in songs. continue to feel pain that only damages me.
Betthia Mae Apr 2020
songs put together—
to bring my heart home.
you see,
she’s lost.

she’s lost in my mind.
songs take her home,
takes her back to the past
of something that did not last.

doors open when the words ring
bring her, bring
her back to me.

I no longer want to feel
Betthia Mae Apr 2020
dear heart of mine,
why do you get lost in my mind?
Betthia Mae Apr 2020
i saw you
with her.

it hurt &
hurt &
hurt &
Betthia Mae Feb 2020
how do I

empty something
never filled.

throw out something
never there.

lose grip on something
never held.

move on from something
I was never in.
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