She trusted you, her parents trusted you, taking away their little girl in order to let her chase her dreams.
Trusting you with her life, her future and her happiness.
You promised love, you promised a life free from abuse, you promised acceptance, but you didn't deliver.
Instead she recieved aggression, hatred, more fear and anxiety than she could imagine.
It was nit picking to start with, just the little things. Judging her appearance, mocking her, ensuring she was small, vulnerable enough for you.
You succeeded, she felt small, vulnerable, she was struggling. Hurting so badly inside that cracks were beginning to form, she was making attempts to numb the pain with unspeakable things but you didn't care.
All this whilst being so blinded by love that the pain didn't matter all that mattered was the boy, a perfect boy from a family of monstrous people.
She couldn't take it anything more, she broke and you threw her to the streets alone and frightened, a child in a strange city where the people who had promised so much hadn't come through.

The words you screamed cut so deep. I dispise that girl, its the girl or us, the girl has ruined this family, I swear to god I will get rid of that girl. That girl can go die.
Those words crushed her ever so little ball of self respect, acceptance in herself, along with all of her happiness into a million peices that could never be picked back up.
She left her family and her friends to come to into this strange world, relationships were broken that can never be fixed.
She can never forgive you, it's to painful.
I will never forgive you.

is laying in bed 'til 2 p.m.
thinking about everything else
that you could be doing
and
forgetting
everything
you
know

C.H.

You see my smile, you hear my laughter
I'm happy right? All the signs add up
But beneath the fragile shell
There's more than ants under this rock

Do you need to see my eyes sting with tears
To know i'm crumbling deep inside?
Would sitting on the edge tell you
That something may be amiss?

I'm a boy who must be a man
Raised not knowing what man must be
So is it any surprise that i'm at odds with
My own masculinity?

What you see before you
Is a supernova of smoke and mirrors
Hiding the void of the collapsing star
Broken at the core



J.S

Can we strive
For health,
Without being broken by it?
Letting foundation
Camouflage our pores
Until we disappear
Under the weight of beauty.
Can we look
To better ourselves
Without being bested
By perfection?
I yearn for truth
In pursuit of wellness
Without the guilt
Of validation
Haunting us into iniquity

I've got the urge
To cut up a storm
Create hurricanes on my legs
Tornados up my arms
While tears rain down
And thunder claps
As I huff out hot air
The only thing
Keeping me warm
Is my shaking
My shivering
While I lock myself in a tundra
Hoping to die somehow
Soon

‪Have ‬
‪You‬
‪Ever‬
‪Cried‬
‪Just‬
‪Because ‬
‪You ‬
‪Don’t‬
‪Feel‬
‪Safe ‬
‪Because‬
‪Of‬
‪Who ‬
‪You‬
‪Are?‬.

I have seen broken glass at ice breakers
And dream paralysis for living dreams
The broken glass attempting to get stuck together
but being thrown away as if it was meant to stay in pieces
I have seen fulfilled nightmares and crippled wings just like how they would show a glorified warrior
I have seen wet bathroom floors, red sometimes, just as beautiful as the crimson sky and
I have seen google searches on why bleach and pills didn’t work just the way I have seen someone committed to get their promotion
I have seen blue and purple faces just as beautiful as Chantilly laced flowers,
Embracing themselves like roses even after being plucked – despite the pleading attempt of their thorns
I  have seen their rosy colour fade away as they struggle to show their best shade of red before they leave – because who likes disappointments?

And who likes putting back together someone else’s glass pieces right from scratch and you and I both know that even if it stuck it wouldn’t be the same again –
So it just melts itself to start all over again

And who likes seeing rotten shades of red, blue and purple when it’s easier to choose to see the glossy teary eyed side –
So we pretend everything is okay as we enjoy the sunrise

Those held thorns don’t like being appreciated but if you pluck their flower you’re leaving nothing behind but the dead corpse of an almost
But who likes to deal with the anger side of depression anyway?
So we just walk away, leaving the thorns un-watered to grow corpses of hatred

And of all the terribly glorified things I’ve seen
I’ve seen gladiators out of battlefields
Struggling with no weapons, fighting with themselves
I have seen children with fake smiles
Unused umbrellas in bags
I have seen attachment grow it’s roots all over to be simply cut by a scissor of betrayal

Of all the cracked ceilings and tight ropes,
Bridge edges and stoutly stiffened up hope,
Of the useless sharpeners and tiger prints on thighs
Crowded beaches drowning inside and sharpened nails all ready to fight
I’ve sat on quiet dinner tables where the only chewing sound is of the collapsing mind

I’ve seen friend lists filled only with acquaintances
And inboxes questioning their state
I’ve seen wrists smothered with concealers two shades lighter
And bags of eyes carrying weight heavier than that of broken dreams and flightless wings shrunk and grown tighter
I have seen fire burn bright of all the alcohol annihilate
And anger that can shake mountains with it legs tied together to a stingy abrupt volcano of abuse

And I have seen never ending nights
When blades are finally of no use

But who wants to talk about it unless its poetry anyway?