and neither the moon nor sun
can comfort me;
one heard my stories about you,
and the other my prayers for you.
The rain could not escape my memory
that you liked the monsoon,
The winds only held gently the expectation
of ruffling your soft hair.
The stream mimicked your laughter
which was etched deeply in my heart.
The sand under my feet told me when it met you
and the salt in the ocean whispered to me that
you threw your wishes as promises,
but wouldn't tell me what those were;
something about secrecy.
The air during my late night walks
reminded me that you walked these paths,
The flowers gushed about your voice,
the trees your jokes;
and then everything
crumbled.
as my mind had to remind me that you died,
and your image I had to forget for my sake.
snatched away so quickly,
I hate that, I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

Mirror mirror on the wall
Reflect my sorrows reflect them all
And when I cry when I scream
Reflect the way I think of me

Mirror mirror on the wall
Reflect the way in which I fall
But catch my teary eyes in sight
My eyes of gold reflect the light

When she was the one who loved me, she asked:

"How can you be some calm?"

Less of a question,
more of an accusation,
as all arguments possess.

I found it interesting.

I'm sure at the time
my answer was melancholy
Sad, even.

In truth, I couldn't answer.
Not properly.
Not in the moment.

The reason is simple.

I think there is something
inherently beautiful
in being a person born
from violence,
rage,
hatred.
Evil.

And through all of that
being someone who
until their last scrap patience
will choose a path of calm,
peaceful,
gentle.
Sadness.

It is easier to be angry
than it is to be sad.

I would rather be sad
than point the anger I bury
at you.

Look at me I'm beautiful
Just don't look at my face
Or my body or personality
Or any of my mistakes

Just Look at me I'm beautiful
But don't look at anything I've done
Anything I despise and hate
Just to earn your love

look LOOK I'm beautiful
Just look at anything which I've dealt
But it's hard to say I'm beautiful
When I can't love myself

I beg to you.
I cry to you.
I wait for you.
Do you even care?
Are you even listening?
I mean i've been getting closer to you more than ever.
I've been doing better for you. For me. For my family.
But hey,

Not ever your best is enough.

is so strong,
why do I feel like
hate is winning?

To have your last name
makes me ill.
You make me so angry
I want to ****!

I hate your voice
and the thought of you.
You were never there
when I needed you!

You're inconsiderate,
you're a lazy slob.
How could you do
what you did to mom?

It's like you don't
even accept me.
What kind of father
can you be?

You're stupid for thinking
that I'd forgive
what you did to me...to mom... to grandma.
How do you live?

Do you regret?
I hardly doubt.
I bet that I'm
the last thing you think about.

Don't lie to me.
I know I'm right.
I don't want you
in my sight!

Stay where you are;
don't bother.
You're lousy - I hate you
You're not my father!!

But that's okay,
you see,
because I don't need
your love!

You've forgotten
me before.
Go ahead...do it
some more!

LOSER! ****! - I hate you
you're not my father,
and guess what,
I'm no longer
your daughter!