When I wasn’t scared
Unafraid of what tomorrow held
When I didn’t care
Who cried who I left behind
Should have done it sooner
While I was young
When I was good enough for it
When nobody mattered
So many ways
I should have done it
Just walked away
Stepped of the deep end
Forgot the world above
Slept in chaos and hatred
Now the only thing I look forward to
Is the day she grows up
And tells me she loves me
For never following through with it

We finally agree on something

Letting go

I was hanging on to every second

But he was forgetting and moving on like it didn't hurt

We both know what it did to eachother

So we let go

I bite my cheek and pinch my arm
In a place that mom cant see

“Why are you so pissy today?”
“You’re such a drag to be around
when you act like this”
She says

“sorry”
I say
Instead of the retort that comes to my mind:
‘So are you on the days you’re mad,
When you’re done with everyone’s ****’

But i know that will earn me an even bigger glare
A clenching of teeth
And a good ol’ grounding

So i sit quietly brooding and fuming and say simply
“sorry”

sorry im not good enough for you
sorry i have feelings unlike you
sorry im
not
enough

“How are you?”
Asks my good friend via text
“Pretty good hbu” i reply with vision blurred from tears
The marks i clawed into my arm still burning

“Dinner’s ready!”
Yells someone upstairs
“I’ll be up in a sec!”
I reply
Hastily pulling down my sleeve
and wiping away the messy makeup around my eyes

‘Whelp’
I think to myself
‘I hope they dont notice’

They dont
And if they do they dont mention it
For which im grateful

I dont feel like launching into a discussion that typically ends with me a blubbering mess

Anytime we have that discussion anyway

I know we need another one,
But i just cant bring myself to reveal anything
That might make them think somethings wrong with me

So for now ill just
Smile
And keep saying
“sorry”

One night
The moon was high
As we said goodnight
With the longest goodnight kiss I've ever had
And the feelings I felt
All through that night
Had me hungry
Hungry for more

But here we are
Separated
By distance
Emotional and geographical
And I'm just
Waiting for the time
I can see you again
But till then
But till then
I'm hanging on a memory

The look in your eyes made me feel just right
Like I'm some miracle to behold
We fit just like puzzle pieces when you held me tight
Kissing my lips like they were yours

But here we are
Separated
By distance
Emotional and geographical
And I'm just
Waiting for the time
I can see you again
But till then
But till then
I'm hanging on a memory

I never thought
That I could ever miss someone
As much as I miss you
I never thought
That your picture could bring tears to my eyes
I never thought
That I would ever long to hear
Someone's voice as I do yours
Isn't that crazy, baby?

Yet here we are
Separated
By distance
Emotional and geographical
Just longing to be with you again!
But till then
But till then
I'm hanging on a memory
Hanging on a memory
Yes, oh yes, a beautiful memory~

I'd sell my soul just to see your face.
And I'd break my bones just to heal your pain.
In these times I need a saving grace, but time is running out and I'm starting to lose my faith.

But if I told you I loved you, would it make you want to stay?
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and making you walk away.
(I should have took the time to tell you)
And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
(Girl you gotta know I love you)

My heart's on my sleeve, but it's turning black.
(I guess I know what it feels like it to be alone)
Without your touch I'm not gonna last.
(I know you know that I need ya just to carry on)
It feels like my walls are caving in.
(You'd always hold me before I left you hanging on)
And I'll do anything to have you here again.

But if I told you I loved you, would it make you want to stay?
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and making you walk away.
(I should have took the time to tell you)
And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)

Yeah, the days are cold, the nights are long.
And I can't stand to be alone.
Please know this is not your fault.

And all I want...

Is to tell you I love you and make you wanna stay.
There's gotta be a way, 'cause going on without you is killing me everyday.

And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
(Girl you gotta know I love you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
(I can't go another day without you)

Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?