Ten minutes later,
the old crow's sitting quiet,
scratching,

no caws or that funny owl mimic trick he can do,
it's a hoot.  
He laughs.

I know a preacher or two who say that regular,
as liturgy, it's a hoot,

here, all say amen,
preach it, if you be the choir

searching still the lost chord to charge your life.

Ain't God a Hoot?

Well, me bein' Baptist, 'n' all...
I 'as reared Mormon...
Baptized and confirmed, Catholic to the core...

Po' man at the door,
My daddy was abastard niggajew and Jesus

fixt me, as I was waitin' fo' m' man, wit Nico
and the band
t'find a
soft place
to die
on
velvet underground, feedback scream

are you
experienced? I scream,

Back for more?
Peace ends wars, don't push me with your
reasonable

casualty in aitia-tick-tick terms un de
cerned, fined, ground

past granulated to sublimated

breathe

Elysian fumes,
unexpected right,

Sulphur, you were going to say,
or brimstone,
or rotten egg,

Sweet suasion sweet sweet suasion

to slip into
geological time and drift away.

You know that smell?

If just not our fleshly desires
     Will persist,
And our hates and proudness
     Will decrease
If just not our fame
     We mind
And soaring profiles
     We try to find

If just.. not...

Then maybe our numbness shall dissipate
And Your loving grace we'll perceive
Much more, we'll feel
And someday, In Your arms, we'll hope forever to be

If just.. not...

Then surely, Our true hope we got, we'll believe

In a bizarre place
The moment I looked to my right
I slowly get to my pace
But before, I took a gaze

I think I saw an angel...
Taking a second glance,
I notice closed-folded wings
Well now I'm sure,
He's my guardian angel

One word:
Purity. To describe him
That look in His eye,
Chilling my nerves
Fulling the sight
Oh, eye-to-eye

Wavy, curly hair
Brown and blonde fair
With length up to chin
Such gracious Mr. 'Him'

Small lips
Bright scene
Ambience light
Feelings aright

Pointed nose
Moreno skin
Like those, calm,
Tanned in the seashore

Glowing, aura around him

A mesmerizing sight
His eyes, pure, innocent light
Oh Love, how I love you
Singnifying Almighty's presence

Worn, fine-linen robes
I'd like to touch, to feel
His warmth, emanating
From his to me
I'd like to---

Smiles, I hugged him(!)
I just did it(!), out of love, joy
It seems fast, fast yet slow
His expression, quite surprised, yet not
But his eyes, that concern he has
I see= compassion (love)

Oh how I wish to be just like that,
Forever, with God, Jesus
Meanwhile, a hope remains,
"Someday"

I came to my retreat,
I noticed a single folded li'l paper
He held, opened
In mine's interpretation, it reads,

(promises he'll keep,)
No matter what,
I'll send to proclaim thy message
Whenever one need thee

(and many more, I left unnoticed )
~

Then he made me feel,
I have to go somewhere

Where?
God knows
How?
God knows

Then in a distance
I saw a woman approaching
So beautiful,
Of course, hey, she's my mother

She led me
God, and angels,
They lead me

I dreamed of this, and now I dreamt it

( in the end, what matters to me is that even once, I know God is with me. And love follows wherever I go)

Hallelujah
In simple glee
I will set free
My voice inside
Which sing praise God!

When life gets you hard
And you start to lose your sight
When you feel like sinking in a pond
Like you've fallen at such height

Peace, it is well
Smile, with your mind
Don't quarell

And remember
God is with you, He got you!
Just when we are blind
He puts His hands on our eyes
Our visions are again found
And we'll see Christ Jesus with a smile

When you understand
Yet still in fear, come,
His image in your heart
And fix ours to His
For he is Love
You've asked and now you have
Peace, He brings
Calms thy precious feelings

-   Now, beloved
Peace, it is well
Smile, with your mind
Don't quarell   -

-   "Ugu" * blob * blob
* Heart crumbling like paper,
Oneself drowning in 'water'
"How... Can I, be happier?"
Hey, hey! My friend
We'll get you out of there
Just grab my hand
... I'll be waiting
Till' you're finish in that worldly illusions   -

"UwaA, I'm drowning!
Somebody help, I don't wanna' be here"
Yes beloved that's it
I'll help you, just trust me
"Umu," * cries "why can't anybody hear me?"
No! -no my child
Open your heart, Just focus on me
"Hmm?"   Son...
"Father? Papa!"   -

-   Yes, yes my dear
Good job keep going
* tries to reach hand  * grabbed
"Hwaa-" * cough * cough
* cries * cries louder
It's alright, it's alright
You're now risen, now you're with me
"I'm sorry~!"  My Child,
Be glad! You've died and you've risen
You've been lost and now you're found
I love you, and I know you can do it
"Thanks, Papa."  * Papa smiles
Now, now, cheer up we'll have a feast  -

Oh Love infinitude
How great is thee?!
Indeed, God is Love
To future, now, and from before

You've got nothing to fear
Drowning? Losing? -Enemy?
Just go and take up your positions and God will give you victory!

-   Dear child, I bring you
Peace, it is well
Smile, with your mind
Don't quarell   -

When you ask for something
And it is in-line with His purpose
Believe and you got it
Just trust Him, His perfect timing
So why dont you just?...
Smile, He got you!

Grounded in faith
I lay
In rich fertile soil
And so
I am ready to grow

Watered by His blood
I sprout
And put out leaves
And so
His sacrifice lets me live

In the light of His glory
I bloom
And free my petals
And so
His resurrection gives me hope

On this holy day
I free
My imprisoned hallelujah
The Lord is risen indeed
Hallelujah

Into a pool of ecstasy we both fall
A moment of honesty as we both lose control
Souls intertwine morphing into one
Hallelujah on my lips and
No regrets as
We both fall victim to exuberant romance...

Inspired by Judy Blume,  inside Jokes with Liz and the poetry of Alissa Grams (https://alissagrams.wordpress.com/2017/03/06/an-open-letter-to-god-from-an-eighteen-year-old-girl/)

~

God,
it's me--
jade.

I must admit,
I've never read
Judy Blume
or the Bible,
for that matter
(I could never make it
past Genesis).

I am not well-versed
when it comes to scripture--
I am fluent in tragedy
and tragedy alone;
then again,
is there really any difference
between scripture and tragedy?

I was never one
to pay attention in church,
unless the hymns
were of a minor key,
the sermons imbued
with woe and melancholia.

Coincidentally,
as I write this,
it has only just occurred to me
that Lot's Wife
was never given a name
of her own--
it was destroyed with *****,
forgotten amongst the
flames and the ash.


God,
you were wrong
to punish her
the way you did.

Have you never felt the
sting of salt
against an open wound?

Have you never watched
as all the familiar intimacies
you once knew
dissolved to cinder?

(I know you have).

Do you not see that,
if home is where the heart is,
then the heart
must surely perish with it?

God,
has anyone ever broken your heart?

(I think you know heartbreak
as well as I do;
it is the very matter
of our existence).

So I guess my real question is
why?
(and, no, this time, it is not rhetorical).

Truly,
I'd like to know why
you would ever think
to hurt your people
the same way
the archangel hurt you.

You say I sin
against you,
but did you not
create me in your image?

(Like father,
like daughter,
I suppose).

god,
I do not think
I believe in you.

At least,
I do not believe in you
like I believe in other things.

I do not
believe in you
the way I believe in
the beauty of
Van Gogh's sunflowers
(his starry nights, too);
or in dog-earing the pages
of my favourite books.

I do not believe in you
the way I believe in magic;
or in the integrity of
polaroids photographs
and listening to vinyl.

I do not believe in you
the way I believed in my love
during the final moments
before his betrayal;
or in the lingering sensation
of my past lives--
Ophelia.
Mary Queen of Scots.
Frida Kahlo.
Sylvia Plath--
and now,
dare I feel it,
dare I say it--
Lot's Wife.

(With her,
I shall share a name).

I do not believe
you are my saviour
because I do not
believe in you
the way I believe
in Poetry.

god,
it's me--
Jade;
this poem is
my hallelujah,
but it does not
belong to you
(not anymore).

There’s no mistaking the hollow,
familiar ache
there where ribs meet,
soft valley
where grief gathers and pools—

so I close my eyes and listen close
to the throb, the
gnaw, the empty space

the beat and lull
the clutch and pull

the sway and flicker
holy breath

bitter tear, honey sweet
rain on drum
the ancient thrum

slick of moss, warmth of spring
the me, the us
the everything—

Life brings life, it wants to live
it heaves and swells
to rhythmic swing

the trill, the drop
the pulse, the pause
the rise and fall
the hallelujahs