I still walk

In the dark, accompanied by my shadow—
Mind is a pawn to something persistent and evil
He lingers in my head from dusk till dawn
Impossible to explain the portrait it had drawn.
So I gaze at the moon in hopes that I find peace
I count the twinkling stars to distract me from the joy I do miss
But sadness still overwhelms me—
Mistakes scarred me like my birthmark.
And still I remain Ignorant to whether the hexes they muttered still pursue me.

I am not living.
The only difference between me and the bodies in the grave is—

I still walk.

In autumn I found a boy
Who asked me to love him
And said I love you
Only after a party and a few drinks
I was laying in bed
And told my friends about him
They said I hope you're happy
They knew I wasn't

In winter I kissed a boy
Who tasted like alcohol and said
I love you all the time but
He hurt himself whenever I made mistakes
He threatened to leave me if
I didn't do what he said
My friends watched me
They said stay away from him

In spring I spent time with a boy
Who told me it was his way or no way
And when I challenged that
He told me
I love you and that's why I'm doing this
My friends saw the cuts and bruises
They gripped my wrists while I said
I deserve him

In summer I wanted no one at all
And when he walked into my life
I didn't expect to fall
But he kisses like the devil
While keeping all my demons away
My friends held my gaze and told me
Keep him and
Stay

(m.w)

You left me for something

That you used to have and now don’t

You were having temptations for her again

But you don’t realize that she doesn’t want you

The only one that actually saw the good in you

Was me

I was the only one that saw it and wanted you

You would always talk about her love

But you never realized that I was never okay

Especially when you say

“’The one thing I want an unlimited supply of for the rest of my life is her love”

You were smiling and I was holding back tears

But you never noticed

I actually thought I loved you but I was always too scared to tell you

I guess you’re just a ******

My friend saw something about me that was good

They made me go after you because they could tell

I’m sorry if I wasn’t enough but

I don’t know what will happen now

You might as well just leave now

Because the one person that wanted you is stuck here

And you get to leave and you won’t even remember us

That’s too bad because I won’t forget anything

Especially when you call me a liar

You know I would never lie to anyone you told

So I’m guessing it’s just “not worth it anymore”

“This isn’t fair to you when I still love her”

Just go away already

I opened myself up and pulled my ribs to the side
        Trying to find something that matters.
                   Something to stick to.
A religion,               a belief,
                |Anything
And in the              dark empty space
                |I found
Whatever                  led me to understand who I                                Thought I was
                **|was already dead.

The rattle is shaken and life becomes unfixed
Torrential rains cascades downwards on ancient bricks
These stunning moments have been rediscovered
In wonder all is flustered in awe as the state of silence honks
Love creeps out of tune in time, the unsureness of cold feet
The voice fades, the toned whispers continually erased
Stormed and soaked, stilled and stalked by a heart that stole my dream
Drenched in uncertainty, non-favouring multitudes won't let me be
These flutters flattens and deflated, I stroll and I will not run
The floating fun fares vanishes, the morning bird furnishes
The time capsule evaporated, unstripped and frozen

Ohh, how I wished to plant and harvest inspiration
Wake up with a renewed breath of air, the flowing river
Of the days when the gloom masked, I hated what life had become
How could humanity be so self centred and selfish?
I looked for silence and the banging never ceased
The masses rushed, never to let me be, they snatched my freedom
I inhaled the hope of the freeness and longed for the racing momentums

How so?
That over time the weather collapsed to coldness, the darkness marbled
A nag of the songbirds, as I escaped in the ****** ozone layer
A disconnect of the mind, body and soul; when I saw my spirit sail
A snail sailing on its own course and journey slowly but steady
Reflections and visions of the timeline of growth and fertility
A heart of one, the soul of all, the mind of many, a tongue in sums
The chandelier hanged on a ceiling, high, holding the flickering bulbs
A condense of energy, the modelled nature of a prognostic intervention
A laughter and synergy rests in the symphony of the unsung melodies

My days were gloomy, nights were cold
Constant yearning for a woman to hold
And the happiness that I always lack
Because all I loved didn't love me back.
The peace I seek for never came
The demon in me—I couldn't tame
But I hoped to be free from the Devils leash
As I listened to the bishop preach.
But it hath built a house inside of me
All these years, it never let me be
It grew as I grew
I walked— it flew.
It visits me in my dreams
Unaffected by the sounding hymns
To overwhelm me with terror
And it's disguise is the man in the mirror.

How tragic it is that the sun sets everyday
The darkness comes out to play
And the sun's the one to blame
For leaving everything cold and grey
For disappearing as fast as it came

Your parted lips whispered, "Hello".
Our first day, do you remember?

Years and years, long ago.
Years and years, we're still together.

Pinky promise me, you'll never forget,
how I try my best to fight your monsters.

Pinky promise me, you'll never be upset.
Show the others that you are stronger.

One day, years and years later.
Do you recall?

I was a failure,
and I let you fall.

Pinky promise me, you'll forgive me.
This monster was too strong for me.

As your golden locks turned gray.
Today, here you lay.

As you took your last sigh.
Your parted lips whispered, "Goodbye."