Sad thoughts swimming
like fish in the sea
in my mind they inhabit
they stay and roam with me

They're my company
in solitude and downs
like clowns comforting children
with ugly faces and frowns

I tried to shake them away
for I feel hopeless and forlorn
"It's not that easy", they say.
"We're better left alone."

it's 3am
and i still feel the same
again and again
with this aching pain

no matter how hard i try forget
sad thoughts is all i get
no matter how hard i cry
no matter how hard i try.

Gloomy and dark skies
meet my chocolate brown eyes
the view took me to the past
like a wheel in the air, spinning fast

The past I buried under
returned in my mind, things I used to ponder
I shake my weary head and sighed
wipe away the tears which I couldn't hide

Hugged myself as I stroll
carried my heart that was once whole
accepted the fact that what's done is done
accepted the fact that the enemy has won.

Your reality, when does it become an illusion?
An illusion, when does it become your reality?

Questioning reality;
Slowly losing my sanity.

Repeating the same question over and over again;
Expecting a different answer to finally come with time.

The definition of insanity;
Eating away my dreadful mind in the form of a pretty rhyme.

I still walk

In the dark, accompanied by my shadow—
Mind is a pawn to something persistent and evil
He lingers in my head from dusk till dawn
Impossible to explain the portrait it had drawn.
So I gaze at the moon in hopes that I find peace
I count the twinkling stars to distract me from the joy I do miss
But sadness still overwhelms me—
Mistakes scarred me like my birthmark.
And still I remain Ignorant to whether the hexes they muttered still pursue me.

I am not living.
The only difference between me and the bodies in the grave is—

I still walk.

In autumn I found a boy
Who asked me to love him
And said I love you
Only after a party and a few drinks
I was laying in bed
And told my friends about him
They said I hope you're happy
They knew I wasn't

In winter I kissed a boy
Who tasted like alcohol and said
I love you all the time but
He hurt himself whenever I made mistakes
He threatened to leave me if
I didn't do what he said
My friends watched me
They said stay away from him

In spring I spent time with a boy
Who told me it was his way or no way
And when I challenged that
He told me
I love you and that's why I'm doing this
My friends saw the cuts and bruises
They gripped my wrists while I said
I deserve him

In summer I wanted no one at all
And when he walked into my life
I didn't expect to fall
But he kisses like the devil
While keeping all my demons away
My friends held my gaze and told me
Keep him and
Stay

(m.w)

You left me for something

That you used to have and now don’t

You were having temptations for her again

But you don’t realize that she doesn’t want you

The only one that actually saw the good in you

Was me

I was the only one that saw it and wanted you

You would always talk about her love

But you never realized that I was never okay

Especially when you say

“’The one thing I want an unlimited supply of for the rest of my life is her love”

You were smiling and I was holding back tears

But you never noticed

I actually thought I loved you but I was always too scared to tell you

I guess you’re just a ******

My friend saw something about me that was good

They made me go after you because they could tell

I’m sorry if I wasn’t enough but

I don’t know what will happen now

You might as well just leave now

Because the one person that wanted you is stuck here

And you get to leave and you won’t even remember us

That’s too bad because I won’t forget anything

Especially when you call me a liar

You know I would never lie to anyone you told

So I’m guessing it’s just “not worth it anymore”

“This isn’t fair to you when I still love her”

Just go away already

I opened myself up and pulled my ribs to the side
        Trying to find something that matters.
                   Something to stick to.
A religion,               a belief,
                |Anything
And in the              dark empty space
                |I found
Whatever                  led me to understand who I                                Thought I was
                **|was already dead.