your love is a gamble people don't want to risk

If you want to make this bet
you better come correct.
This King of Hearts
has never been in debt.

Play this game of roulette
win a life of regret.

I envy those who know what they want
Or those who don't, but have multiple shots
But here I am
With no desire, with no chances
Holding on to the dice with trembling hands
Gambling with my life.

Let us take a gamble
You'll have nothing to lose
Only fun, only fun
I will swear to you.

Come and observe this fire!
It's not dangerous, you'll see
Run your hands, all over
The flames won't hurt thee.

Glide your hands over this knife
Feel the adrenaline course!
Your running blood of crimson
Your death you won't have to force.

Once,
a while ago,
we were
eagerly in love,
so, eagerly
we were in chains.

Once, we were members of a party.
Parts of a whole. A hopeless oath
of devotion to another, to durdle,
intimately, through the grandest lie.

Once, we were eagerly in chains.
(Now, contemptuous in disdain)
Once, we were excited to be.
(Now, that's just not what we're about)

Once, we were bonded in a gamble.

Now, we're barely willing bystanders,
no more an adventure, than it is
   a situation.

She hits the bottle
like she’s playing blackjack
Always wanting more
And inevitably losing it all

She stands in the remains
Of the destruction she’s caused
Filled with regret
Finding salvation
At the bottom of a glass

Coming home jubilant
To speak of all her successes
And all I hear is a buzz
The slurs in her speech
And lose sight of all else

Hearing loosely threaded stories
From that point on
Trying to find the holes
Where the honesty shines through
Knowing she’s far too happy
To be telling the truth

Filled with self loathing
Reeking of liquid courage
Losing her grip on what lies
She’s told before

She loops
And falters
At which point
I close my ears and walk away
Not wishing to waste my time
On tall tales and a tossup
No matter which side the coin lands
I’ve lost myself
In this battle with your illness

A chip, a chance
Same deck of cards
Bet.
All in with a poker face
I saw through you
Now you lost me
You didn’t even have me at all
You got it all twisted from the start
Thinking I’d fall for your game
Pulling the same exact card on everyone
But I’m not just anyone—
I’m someone—
Who couldn’t and wouldn’t be played the Joker.
I’m a Queen waiting for my King.

Forgotten bottle sits upon
chilled coster so long ago
in a couple of hours
Radio still plays hits
circulating through a long-dead heart
VIII, so it seems.
Key clicks,
five soldiers fall
into pre-drilled foxholes,
letting their guard down for only a second
to long,
just like any day though not
so much
head wrapped in a cocoon
never opening
to let the butterfly emerge,
more like suffocating it.
The very thing bringing new life
dies
Hoping for a new day of sunshine and rain
and telling my left from my right


...

wait,
foot or hand?

...