I have none left in me
I have given it to everyone but me
Every poem I write has a little piece of me
Each poem has a few crumbs of the real me
These crumbs are easily overlooked
Many people I know say they love my writings
Very few can read between the lines I have wrote
Many fail to see what each of my lines truly mean
They don't see my heart racing to catch its beat
All they see is my mind trying to control my heart beat
A lot of my poems come off as shallow but not deep
I guess they truly don't know the real me
A smiling boy is all they see when they look at me
But deep down they don't see the pain that paralyzes me

I was jogging through a long hallway
I was so eager to see the voice that echoed through the halls
I turned the corner and realized it was my mom

What was she doing here??
I didn't invite her

Then I noticed a breathtaking ensemble sprawled out before me
Beautiful wood tables with crystal clear wine glasses which were complimented with big circular plates

I couldn't believe what I was seeing before me
I was only in the bathroom for ten minutes
Changing into a old sweatshirt and light blue shorts

I decided to scan the rest of the room quickly
I firstly saw the angel I spent the entire day with
Next to her was her dad
When I made eye contact with her dad he responded with, "Of all things you did today you did two things right. You showed my daughter an amazing time and secondly when we asked you to stay for dinner you said yes without hesitation. We coordinated this with your mom a couple of days ago, because you are the man, that my daughter deserves in her life. So this is a thank you."

I was still confused because I had no idea where my dad or her mom was

Why was I put in this position when she was talking to another guy
She seemed so set on him but did something happen? Regardless...

A feeling of fruition consumed my soul
I sat down in one of the chairs
I took a bite of some of the shrimp on my plate
Then I woke up..............

Everyone sees how you look at me
I don't understand why I don't see it
I am sorry friend of mine
But you will not be mine

I love reading my old poems
It puts me back in my old shoes
Now its different
In hindsight the recent past
Has made me more of a man
Certainly I went through some growing pains
But it was worth it

They tell me give up
Give up on something I want
I told them get lost

I had a perfect picture of it in my mind
Then i went to work
One stroke here and then another there
Some days I painted to put my mind at ease
There were days I would paint with anger
Others I would paint so carefree
Before I knew it I was finished

I hated it
It wasn't what I pictured in my head
So I kept adding onto it
Until it became a beautiful collage
It wasn't what I pictured in my head
But now it's perfect

She is a cup of coffee
The way she glides across the classroom to her seat
The way her hair bounces like the foam on top
She is smooth and beautiful
I love the idea of her and her smell
And her rich completion
The way her dark skin feels and the way she talks

She is a cup of coffee
She seems nice on the outside
But after one task
She is bitter, and gives you a good kick
She talks behind their backs and sniggers
She cackles an evil laugh

But in the end
She is the cup of coffee I will never have
The cup of coffee I regret not having

I don't want this
I am standing here looking clueless
Clueless to what is happening
I have accepted it won't end well
Still here I am
Standing here hoping it will be okay
I am terrified because today he looked at me
Looked at me with a fire that I have never seen
A fire that spoke with passion and love
A look that pierced my soul
I have bullet proof armor but his shot
Nearly killed me....

Not searching for it
Just living what you believe
Breathing with such ease

Seeing is believing
You can live without seeing
Breathing keeps a person running
Running to till that next deep breath
That next breath can be so full filling
It may be suffocating if you can't catch it
It may hurt while you are screaming
Screaming about something you believe
Some screams are silent and some cant be ignored
You may hold your breath in fear of losing
Losing what your last breath had