Because I know
I will never be more
Than second place, will never go
Further than them in your heart for
Every time I try to reach out
You do an about
Turn, face your back to me
And all I can see
Is this huge wall
Immune to arrows, bullets, fire
And so every time I try I fall,
My body
Parallel to the bricks
And ground
And around
Me
Is nothing but the faces of the friends I
Know you've made in my
Absence but I really
Didn't think it would be
This quick.

September 9th, 2001
Gary and I were skating at a hospital on top of a huge hill, overlooking a valley
An ambulance came and took out a dead woman
Gary asked me why she wasn't moving or blinking
They hadn't closed her eyes yet
She must have died on the way

A car full of family and friends came in with the ambulance
They were all crying and hugging each other
One woman screamed hysterically
And grabbed at the woman's body asking her to wake up

I had to tell Gary that her soul went to heaven
I didn't believe a word of it, but I knew it'd be easier for him to understand
Two days from now, at 9 a.m., the planes will hit the World Trade Center
Killing over 3, 000 people
I will tell Gary that there is no God, and all of this is meaningless

But today, there is a God, and He has a plan for him

He doesn't know it, but a year from now, our family will be torn apart
And I will move far away and won't see or talk to him for five years
And as we sit on the hood of our car, the sun goes down
And he asks me what I wanted all my life

I tell him, "I don't know"

On and on we run away
From the things we are afraid of
On and on we run away
From the things we are afraid of
On and on we run away
From the things we are afraid

I don't tell him about the dream I had the night before

Where I'm riding in a car full of strangers
And singing to some song I've never heard and smoking a cigarette
We swerve off the road and hit a tree
I go through the windshield and hit the edge of the fence
Dislocating my jaw and flipping me into a wall
Where my neck is broken, and my skull is fractured
I bleed to death in excruciating pain

I will have this dream periodically until I meet all of the strangers one by one
Introducing them all to each other until we are a close group of friends

I will set these events in motion and I will die
But today in the warm light of the sunset
I don't see it, I just see the sunset
I smile back and shake my head

I have absolutely no idea, I am afraid.

You think that was scary?
Well I'm influenced,
For terror is a good friend of mine.

A cold embodiment of emotion,
Hollowed me out to a husk,
For I'll always remember,
The time he almost took from us.

I see that table sometimes at night, when
My dreams stretch colorful and bright
That table is lit up by the softest glow,
With smiles and laughter evermore

On that table, there’s a seat,
Saved especially for me. It’s comfortable
And blue, exactly how I like it, and I feel
This deep and lingering warmth as I sit

As I sit, I find I’m laughing, and around me
Everything is soft and warm - conversation
Flows unstoppered, and I bask
In its healing balm

I see that table sometimes, and I know
It’s waiting for my exact glow.

i don't have an alarm, but i tell them it rings
because their alarms ring, and they like to announce it.
they wake up at six.

they think the same things,
they write the same words,
they tell them to me.

Back together?
How wonderful!
But I have just one question,
For the man in the picture.
When you swore not to return,
And cursed her as a *****,
Did you not mean it at all?
My friend, what happened to the dirt you talked?

"Darling look! A planet by the moon!
They're so close,
It looks like we used to be.
We are friends,
But is that all you'll ever see?"

I miss when you just talked about planets,
And didn't try to ****** me.