Look...
Its been some long days followed by some short nights,
These days are just some short rounds in a long fight,
There's been mad short comings - come complete with long suffering,
Some **** rips and a spliff got my brain buffering,
I refuse to stand in place - Imma forever have past due posture fees,
I guess all my earnings come at the end - like an apostrophe.
See I'm trying to turn all my "soon"s  into "finally's,
Despite Mfs speaking spitefully privately,
I'm trying to be an icon -
Loved and hated like Guy Fieri,
I'm a Ferrari, but I been gassing me with the wrong oil,
I wanted to blow, but the fire was too loo for my water to boil,
I wanted to grow, but I was kicking it in the wrong soil,
I was too busy confusing movement with motion,
I was stepping out of line, parading feelings as emotions,
I was cashing in, mistaking value with pricing,
I was crapping out, was venting with my vices,
I been salivating for my salvation,
I been gravitating towards gratitude, and delayed gratification,
I been avoiding altercations, and elevating towards elation,

Cause listen..

I been off my mission,
I been consistently inconsistent,
I been reminiscing,
Been making **** the opposite of simplistic,
I been in-opportunistic,
I been devastated and dilapidated,
I been a lil faded and I been feeling ill-fated,
I been a victim of ill-will and I'm feelin irritated,
I been reaching to be featured,
I been over dozing.
I been living for the moment.
Been under pressure and my fears be over-reaching,
**** be unprecedented, I be leaning towards impeachment.
It might not change **** but it sure does help to talk about it,
All them nights I sat up in my bed and thought bout it,
Ring around the Rhonda Rousey to all them bouts i fought bout it,
I'm Jerry Rice but lousy, to all the flack i caught bout it,
Frequent failure miles for all the flack I caught bout it,
They telling me I'm Black then why i feel Golden?
They telling me its cap - is that why i feel goated?
Hardly ever pressed - is that why i never folded?
Wake me from this nap- its time i smelled the Folgers.
I wanna be filled the same way that i be pourin'..
Rich spirit with the survival skills of a poor man,
I been getting grilled and knocked the **** out like George Foreman,
And It gotta be skills the way that i be poor man,
I'm in the business of building,
****** keep ******* up my floor plans,
Can't let **** pass me by or am i destined to be a doorman?
I'm at the right address but its safe to say I'm on the far  side,
I need to see the real , not just mirages and facades..

i am the sweeping grey
i am the cool mercurial rays
i am the fleeting warmth
before your shiver
the endless shades of silver
i am the gently listing fingers
of the over burdened sky

i am the rumbling locus
of depth and density
the softly meandering incorporeality
i am the dissipating shade
and almost
silence.

I knew when I met those bright blue eyes
that I was gonna somehow dim them
I just didn’t know how yet

She’s had this boyfriend since freshman year
But I’ve always found pleasure in taking what’s not mine
So that’s what I did
I took her—I took everything from her

I’ll never forget the first time I saw those pretty blue eyes brimmin with tears
Ever since then I’ve been hell bound on seein those tears fall
And she’s been whiskey bent on bein a good woman
I don’t think it’s possible though
For her to be a good woman
At least not in my eyes
She keeps tellin me she just wants to build a home with me and I think shes right cuz
I’ve never felt so at home like I do when I hear the emptiness in her voice
She echoes back I love you because she **** well knows better
Women were meant to be controlled
My father taught me that
So just when she thinks she's starting to build herself up
I tear her back down
its been years since she said she was gonna leave me but every time she gets that look in her eye like she thinks she’s strong enough to leave me
I haveta remind her I’m stronger
I gotta say taking all these pieces of her
It makes me feel whole
There was that one time in the beginning she popped her hip and said "boy you better be lucky you have me"
I told her she better be careful how she talks to me
But she just laughed like I was joking or something
She doesn’t really laugh anymore
Well
Unless we’re out for dinner and friends are around

I remember her telling me she wanted to take on the world
Crazy girl go doin that and I haveta show her who’s boss
I think her blue eyes faded years ago

Instead of inspiring a feeling,
I want to share a feeling.
Never mind what you wanted
to feel when you read this.
I'm selfish.
Feel what I'm feeling
as I write
and not what you feel
as you read this right now.
I should probably share with you
how I'm feeling.
I should have probaby have
told you before
we got this far.
I bet at this point
you don't even know
how to feel.
Good.
Neither do I.

He exclaimed I've never met any one like me before,
I smiled for I am not like him,
He sees in me what he wants to see,
Because love is foolish,
Like a man fondeling for a light in the blackness,
He will believe only good rests in the dark,
Because he feels home when I'm only a short stay.