he is smarter than everyone even though he is not odin
as charming as loki along with the mischief-makin'
in despite of all
he does not run nine realms
he only runs one in my heart
he could be thor, god of the worlds
but he chose to stay with a dökkálfar

i don’t want to write anything
i wan to lay in bed and
do nothing
some words creep into my head
i write some down
i don't need to treat you anymore or any less
i moved to los angeles and shattered my view
i forgot my childhood
a few years after that
saturdays mowing the lawn and i missed a blade of grass
and it all came down to the sound of 12 screams
i learned not to make any sounds
alone is better
i am the worst case in town
i watched people from afar
it feels like a play for an audience of one
the meaning of pain
getting the **** beat out of you
made me want to learn to type
books are the only voices that taught me where i could go
i can’t feel that way any more
i'll keep writing

This time please don’t feel sad.
I’ve tried to fade away.
Stretch thin to reach me.
Gone un-scratched for an eon.
As a breath on a death bed.
Can’t be savored for too long.

It’d feel nice to know who I am.
I’m pressed to find a way.
Dressed in his slime and his slop.
It’d feel good to know who I’m not.
Bottle up and conceal.

It’s all moved away this time.
I can feel.
No Fawkes whisper to reveal.
It’s all been changed.
But for me.
I feel the same.

I’m broken and poured.
All vivid, but defamed.
The color I had in my fingers.
Is distant on a tether.
I just coil it back in.
Before I grow numb in taste.

I lost myself
Few years back.
Who am I now?
I can't identify?

I am a person
Who fears all the time
Who doesn't make art
Who doesn't write
Who hardly discovers new places
Or enjoys going out all alone.

Who am I?
Who have I become?
I was not this
Few years back?
I never liked being at one place
Liked going out every other day
With shine in my eyes
To explore and talk to new people.

Who have I become?
Completely quite
And dimmed!

Has this tough times
Changed me?
Is it only me?
Or has it changed everyone?
I can't feel me?
Who am I?
I can't relate to myself
Anymore!

How to find me?
Maybe I should start looking
For me...

I used to write proses unbothered by rules,
Poems with no assurance of being read,
Words just written to be free.

Now am I one of fools?
Fearing what comes out of my head?
Afraid of what others see?

Is this the curse of technicality?
Of knowing more about reality?
Bluff is that age comes with clarity.

Here is my **** to hell I send,
Existing is tiring year by year,
Is there anything more to feel?

I am far from the end.
But I wish I am near.
I have nothing time can steal.

Next to me
Sometimes you're under my nose
Sometimes you're across the bed
As if its too far

You hate the yellow light
I can't be in the dark
I hate the dark
Sometimes

All you need to know
One thing I hope will never change
Is how you make me feel
I feel good under my own skin

music helps me feel
my blood flowing
it brings back my life
when I'm frostbitten

the lyrics I hear
makes my heartbeat
makes my breath low
makes my love fly
I wish I could be
like that all the time
because when the tune dies
all I hear is my head go
"where is your love for him?
did it die too, darling?"