A man
smoking alone
in his room.
The clock
keeps watching
and singing all night.
You can feel them
and try to ignore them.

How is it that you love me now Meadow,
but then change your mind tomorrow?

I see you, I feel you and I hear you
I know the travails you’ve been through
Always there, never looked at
Rarely at peace,  mostly in combat
You fight to hold on and fight to let go
The person you love most may become a foe
Once you’re wounded it lasts a lifetime
Yet the executors never deem it a crime
Its the heart that has to go through it all
And at the end of the day, has to stand tall
I say the heart is a wild creature
It is its own master and its own teacher
And our ribs are its disdainful cage
One that in no way soothes, only enrages
The heart would consider beating the cage down
But it knows if it escapes in blood you would drown

sophomore year

it's not that dark

if you squint your eyes
beyond the blurred lines
loneliness pierces through the heart

people you once knew are merely memories now
and you are reduced to what they write about you on the bathroom walls

they don't need you anymore
they found someone better

all you have is me
a gun to your thoughts
and lungs that won't quit (but you wish they would)

what's that? you can't breathe?

don't worry darling
it's only down from here