The way you play your game is not fair
The way you make me be in pain
The way I do me is I put you in pain
But it is not a game
I don't want to
I don't mean to
I love you
I feel as if it is killing me
I feel as if one day all of this
Will be too much
And
Somebody will find what is left of me
A body left with no soul
A cold body
Cold and all alone
I try and try
Again and again
I fail and fail
I'm so tired of failing
I can't let you go
I'm too deep
I'm so in love with you
I'm scared
I don't want to be without you
I don't want this to end
I just want you happy
Even if it is the end of me
I will fight and fight for you
Because I love you
And if one day you tell me
That you no longer love me and want me
I will tell you goodbye
And it will be the end of me

I thought tonight would be the night, the night I've been waiting for. Tonight I would have told you- nay- confessed to you the genuine, heartfelt love I have for you.*

Tonight nothing happened, again. I saw your face, the same face that quivers my insides and makes my heart beat in slow motion, and I knew I could tell you absolutely nothing about my fiery desires for you.

So you still know nothing and suspect everything.
I still mumble the same mantra to myself about how I'm doing the right thing, waiting for the right time. But it's flat out b u l l s h i t and I know it. I'm scared to love, scared to lose, scared to ***** it up.

They say time heals all wounds but the wounds that love inflicts has no healing. Time can merely stitch up your cuts and tell you not to stress them, lest they burst apart and leave you bleeding out again.
Only love can heal love, and you and I are *TOO SCARED TO JUMP!

I am holding a grudge,
Because they held a grudge.
Grudge,
against grudge,
against grudge.
An unfailing friendship defying the odds.
Falling apart because we can not forgive each other.
Unfailing is failing.

Another week over and my eyelids are drooping as I type this.
They say that
success is in reach if you just tell yourself you can do it,
But see, I've told myself to reach for success but whenever I look I only find failures
With skelatons as gifts  because I always try to get my hopes up and they end up being miscarriages of the mind,
I dropped the ball on the touchdown line
Missed the layup
Failed the class
They say success is in reach if you tell yourself you can do it.
I found that failure is more common
That disorders of the mind that go from A
to C instead of making a B line for the right answer
leaves me to believe that the work we do can only take a lot of back breaking work
and struggles and pain and late nights doing all you can to succeed and,
realizing that the dreams you dream
lead to something
Because failure leads to something too
It leads to droopy eyes and morning reflections
and doing your best to get out of bed to revel in your failures because
you will succeed.
Just keep going
Keep running
Spreading your wings as your learning what flying means from jumping
from the nest without the parachute because
we all know life is a sky full of possibilities.

failing
              and
                        falling
falli­ng
              into
                       failing
where the ****
                                   am i *going?

Why does the little bird try?
For he trys in vain,
He trys to fly but he will fall back to the earth again.

i am endlessly tired
of seeing all these successful people
and i am endlessly tired
of creating catastrophes
when it is never intentional
but calling them mistakes
starts to sound like excuses
no it really isn't
and even my passions are useless
and i'm no good at those either
when i kind of want to share it with the world
and become one of those successful people
but i suppose i need to accept
i'll always be in the unnoticed dark
efforts are futile
people see success
not efforts
people see useless failures
not struggling survivors