If no one reads
If no one comments
It still exists
It still IS
Fervently waiting for an answer,
nothing feels like forever.
Dying to make a sound,
transmuting what is left into the bits the rattle my soul. What's left is me and you in a moment of forever more.
Gone like today, foreseen like tomorrow. All I can say is I am patiently stuck in what seems like an eternity, sprouting into this forbidden being of existence.
Give it time, forever will dissipate into fragments of dust, blown away by the passing phases of time.
Give it time, forever will pass you by. Waiting on an answer.
That one day my loneliness won’t be the death of me.
That my loneliness will spur into something to live for,
Something great enough to die for.
I’m watching my world fall apart,
And the pieces are falling between my fingers,
Like loose grains sand.
Feels like all I can do is stare blankly.
My loneliness is no longer my fault,
But simply a condition of existence.
I’m not sure if I’m thoughtful,
Or just empty
I'm staring at my laptop trying to vent emotions, and this feeling I'm typing out just kinda washed over me. So yeah.
as i fall
A journey is
one into the
of your inner world
There is more than
what is existing
on the surface
Everything is nothing
And nothing’s what it seems
For every step we’re taking’s
In another hidden dream
Reality is fading
As our conscious remains blind
We cannot see how quickly
We’re running out of time
We catch up to the future
Just to find out it’s the past
And wake up into bodies
That were never made to last
Trapped in programmed minds
Defined by infinite conclusions
We’re eternal living mysteries
Of chaos and confusion
But tell me are you scared?
Or is it just because you’re blind?
You’re looking for the answers
Through eyes you cannot find
Your soul already knows the things
Your brains don’t want to hear
How awfully close it’s coming
To an end that’s always near
But it’s incomprehensible
The details left to find
Cause we cannot begin to process
The depth of our design
So we sit here drowned in wonder
By a world that makes no sense
If existence is eternal
What happens when this one ends?
I guess we’ll never know
What we weren’t made to understand
So we continue searching endlessly
And do so as we’re planned
On this never ending roller coaster
That can never be rewound
It’s hard to find the answers
If they weren’t made to be found
We grow and we grow
Till there’s no place to go
Living our life
To the eternal flow
But why did we come
If we don’t get to stay?
What is the point
If it’s taken away?
And what does it mean
If it’s all just for nothing?
What is, simply isn’t
If it’s not all for something
You gave me this life
Just to feel less alive
If the purpose i live for
Is only to die
Sometimes I cannot quiet my mind,
Depreciating thoughts and moments of self loathing compress my skull,
A sustained attack that builds and builds,
Shockwaves of anxiety course through me,
I am lost in my attempts to return to normality despite my best efforts to piece together the fractured existence,
The barrage continues as my single track mind allows my but one confused perception,
Who am I? What have I become? What does my future hold?
These questions are unanswerable yet I proceed to waste my time over what in the end of the day is meaningless,
I am not stupid and I am aware I can only decide my outcome by making positive change,
Yet despite this I seemingly cannot refuse the chance to torture myself.
This existence is cruel at the best of times,
Even in the best moments,
Doubt, agony, fear sustain themselves with their own intellect,
The all knowing insight that things will never be good forever, if you're mind will not allow it.
i just don't think there is any metaphor,
i don't think i can censor or hide this
i don't want to die,
i just wish i never existed in the first place.
that's all .
I've come across people who were waiting most of their lives.
Waiting for better ways on how they could live
while others just chose to wither away and die.
There were those who waited too long for love to arrive.
But when it finally came, they were already too afraid
to take the leap and dive.
There were those who waited for the meaning of their existence.
But when the opportunity came to define who they were,
they decided to let go of that chance.
There were those waiting for freedom.
But when the shackles were loosen and finally removed,
they chained themselves back.
For they missed the prison, their pain.
And then I've come across myself
waiting for the sun to rise and shine after the dark.
But when I saw the sunlight in your eyes,
I let you go and turned away with a silent goodbye.