friend
best friend
forever friend

where did you go
your warming presence
the glitter in your soul

where did you go
fear

so close to the sun
too frightened

shadows and storms protect you
encompass my aura
terror in your eyes

destruction in action
a shattered atmosphere
are you here?

dissociating
depersonalizing
disposing me

may your soul return soon
come back old friend

I love to go walking, at least once a day
And see what I stumble across on my way
I can cover hills and valleys, forests and fields
To unearth what treasure the next stroll yields

Yesterday my amble took me a brand new way
Through an old wood with a black stream I did stray
I came across a boy with a face grimaced in concentration
A child in this ****** place, aroused my determination.

I said ‘Hey boy why are you so far from home?’
‘Please good sir you must leave me alone’
Then I noticed how tightly he clenched his fist
And knew he must have a treasure to add to my list.

I picked up the boy and grabbed his wrist
I shook it vigorously to open that fist,
Then I attacked his fingers and commenced to pry
From the boy not a whimper, a whisper or sigh.

‘Child I demand you open and reveal what’s in your hand’
‘There’s nothing sir not even a grain of sand’
The sheer cheek of the runt was simply astounding
I would open that paw if it meant giving him a pounding.

That’s just what I did, the boy got a seeing to
I slapped him and kicked him threatened to boil him in stew,
Swung him over my head and dashed him to the floor
No matter what manner of violence the scamp took more.

Exhausted and demoralised I screamed at the brat
‘Show me what you have and let that be that’
‘Please, it’s noting sir as I’ve said before
You can kick me and hit me and throw me to the floor’

Then I remembered, in my belt a small knife
I decided to cut off that mitt and end this strife,
Off at the wrist, open the fingers to look in the hand
The boy wasn’t lying, not even a grain of sand.

After all that effort and a day with no pleasure
I refused to feel down at the lack of treasure,
Next time you’re near to my house you must call
And I’ll show you the hand nailed firmly to the wall.

I told you all my pain
Made you bleed for me
I let you go with all my shame
I left you in tears
It meant nothing to me

Still, you made promises of love
Kind soul
You fell for the wrong girl
Wiping tears from your eyes
The last kiss of goodbye
Don’t you realize
I just wanted to see your heart broke
The same way they did with mine

Love has left me to die

I've no need in an afterlife
As I know there is life after mine

I've no need in a god of the universe
For me a godless universe isn't any less

I long ago gave up trying to find my purpose
When I found I could make it myself

I can't believe in love at first sight
Seeing as I fall a little more in love every time we meet

And I'm hesitant to speak of true love
Since I've loved many who loved to lie

I know we aren't made evil
Because we make evil all on our own

I'm the evil that walks with you
You don't deserve to be with me
My ****** up brain killed
what could be beautiful
Guilt is haunting my mind
And despite that
I can only hunt for your smell
In the memories
in the sweater you lent me
That cold night
If I only knew it was a goodbye
It was my fault, there’s no doubt
That night is gone now
And
All what I have is blood on my floor
New scars and a broken soul
You’re gone as well
With your heat
But your pain stayed
I won’t say sorry again
The sinners suffer for love today