A league of angels stop and stare
Ascending their ladder up to Heaven,
Wond’ring why God is so unfair,
That there’s no beauty like you in Heaven.

The envy of God’s retinue
Plead for relief from their bond to Heaven,
For all the angels would choose to
Be mortal near you rather than Heaven.

Angels standing at God’s right hand
Plot their escape from service in Heaven,
And beg to be at your command
To worship beauty not found in Heaven.

The angels’ love is infinite
Eternally around them in Heaven,
But even that love they’d forfeit
For a love like yours not found in Heaven.

Every angel would fall from grace,
And vow never to return to Heaven,
If given lips to kiss your face,
Because there’s no joy like that in Heaven.

Her being radiates faith,
and behind her eyes lay confidence.
Sometimes I envy her belief,
I resent that she has a home to go,
while I stand to freeze alone.
I'll praise her strength,
for it's something I'll never have.  
Maybe sometimes I wish I could believe,
but I am the way I am, like a blind man,
I can't suddenly decide to see.

I never knew the hate and jealousy was so real,
Now not knowing what to listen to, what to think or how to feel,
The light that lives inside me burns with purpose,
Maybe theirs would too,
if they actually protected their vibe,
Changed the people they hang with,
you know,
really found their tribe,
I’ve heard the words of family, the lies spewed through their teeth,
All because they couldn’t be little ol me,
Fake smiles, I love you’s, and walking contradictions,
They didn’t think I’d see the truth that the whole time I’ve been missing,
It’s not love, it’s jealousy and greed,
When they thought I wasn’t looking they sowed a seed,
Ignorantly not knowing what they do,
Cause, Everything you send out comes right back to you,
The darkness I have endured, they thought no one would ever know,
But The veil has been lifted,
now everyone can enjoy the show

how awe inspiring
a love derived from love
a love derived from fear
everything i ever felt
has led me to this wretched "here"
pull my hair like you pull my heartstrings
im sure we'll do just fine
everything i have ever known about you
has made me want to call you "mine"
you are strong in more ways than one
a lover has not needed to commit such felonies as me
"well... that was fun"
and
"i cant believe how long that took you to see"
rattling keys doused in ivory peace
lovely lovely souls masked by a need to feel first at least
at last
i have longed for a day of fulfillment
yet today i am met with nothing but turmoil
this hellbound love does not feel heavensent
but this day is the day in which i refuse to recoil
i would not be the same without you
R

I can still remember how you smiled at me,
I know I'm not the reason of your smile
But I don't care. Because it gave me purpose.
I also remember your laugh, your hair,
Every inch of you is engraved in my mind.
You are really beautiful and I envy him so much.

Alice Coltrane, your music brings something out of me,
Something nameless
something I keep buried.
As I lay on this bare mattress, humming along to “Turiya And Ramakrishna”
I ponder if you knew your legacy.
If during those last days in 2007, you ever thought your work could inspire poets of the next generation
or was that even a question lingering between your tempels?
Perhaps not.

Well as this pen dances to the melodies you wrote,
I think, and think
and blink
and sink
I wonder if my last hours will happen a year from now or a decade
or a month
or a week
And what will remain of my creations
Have I touched enough lives
Have I loved enough souls
Have I danced enough
Gave enough
Laughed enough?

I envy the sand devoured by oceans
because it’s simply moving on to its next life
I envy photographs because their moments last forever
I envy the tortoise’s shell
I envy the hourglass because its fate is no mystery
I envy those who do not envy
I envy the days before sundials
when days simply couldn’t fit onto paper squares

I...don’t want you to worry.
I am a spark
Finite but furious
bright, unstable, contagious
and capable of lighting your way before I fade

At least I hope.